March Report-Goat Update
12I do not take the honor bestowed upon me as your March Goat lightly and as such I feel compelled to report upon the comings and goings in my administration. Given the ground swell of support to appoint Walter to a high cabinet position, I have decided to make him this administration’s special emissary to all the other pet owned by Meh-a-holics. I encourage all your pets to reach out to him-especially with all their complaints about their owners.
In order to make my administration as transparent as possible, Walter has submitted to me pictures of his comings and goings over the past 24 hours. Many of you have asked for a picture of Walter suitable for framing-that is included also.
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Walter making his nightly rounds around our house
Walter keeping busy with the people’s business shredding everything in sight.
@Felton10 idk why but tiny dinosaur on patrol greatly amuses me.
@unksol Well if he were a normal bird he would be flying around the house. His wings have grown out enough that he could fly if he wanted to. More evidence that he doesn’t think he is a bird. Even more strange is that he usually ends up in one of the bathroom-usually the master bath which is far away.
Hey Walter, Charlie the pup here! My mom keeps insisting I go to school. She wants me to be a “good boy” any suggestions on how to get her to leave me alone
@tinamarie1974 Walter didn’t want to tell me but I pried it out of him. He said to act and do just enough things to show your owner you don’t need schooling. Then you can run around crap on the floor, chew on the furniture and hump people’s leg as much as you want.
@Felton10 oh THANKS Walter! That sounds so easy! I am going to try, starting TOMORROW!!
@Felton10 @tinamarie1974
Asking for a friend.
If your dog runs around, craps on the floor, chews on the furniture, and humps people’s legs, how would you know the difference between your dog and your teenage son?
Oh, wait. Your dog is the one licking himself.
@mike808 @tinamarie1974 If I had a teenage son the only reason he wouldn’t lick himself is because he couldn’t reach that spot and the dog can.
@Felton10 @mike808 @tinamarie1974 Wait! I’ve heard this one - I think the punchline is:
“Careful, he might bite.”
@Felton10 Walter, I TRIED! We went to a new school today and it was me and TWO teachers!!! It got WORSE. Oh dear!!!
@tinamarie1974 Walter wants to know if your loving treatment of pup has given him the false impression that is he is not a dog. That is Walter’s problem-we have never treated like a bird and he only acts like one when it serves his purposes.
@Felton10 wait, HE’S A DOG???
@tinamarie1974 My mistake-he is a bird but since he barks, has his run of the house, follows us around and considering what he eat, he acts more like a dog than a bird.
@Felton10 oh, ha! I meant mine. They SAY he is a dog, but I think he is my sometimes ill mannered toddler.
He doesn’t eat nearly as well as Walter (kibble diet), but spoiled none the less.
@Felton10 apparently the NHL knows how famous Walter is
@tinamarie1974 Walter is getting quite a following from many unusual places. He is not even a hockey fan.
@tinamarie1974 What ever you start feeding them from the beginning they will get used to and eat. We can’t help it if Walter has exotic and expensive tastes. Would you want to eat bird seed all your life?
@Felton10 well apparently the Maple Leafs are trying to recruit him
Actually it is for Walter Gretzky, Wayne’s dad. He recently passed away. RIP
@Felton10 @tinamarie1974
That’s pretty cool. Took me a sec to recognize those were pucks stacked to spell out the name!
Walter-suitable for framing
@Felton10 such a handsome boy!!
Toby says “Hey, Walter - don’t you get tired of the paparazzi being in yer face all the time? Can’t a guy have a little privacy?”
@Kyeh Walter says he just craps on their camera and eventually they leave him alone.
My dog wants to know if Walter’s owner gets upset when he has the vapors. He said he was asking for a friend.
@mike808 I asked Walter and he said since he didn’t know what the vapors were, so he doubted he had it.
@Felton10 Ah, yes. The “He who denied it supplied it” defense. Walter, he’s is a crafty bugger, isn’t hee hee.
Titan wants to know why Mom keeps telling him it’s rude to lay like this when there are ladies around!
@JennFrepa
is he named after the rocket??
@chienfou lmao maybe in his mind he is
@JennFrepa Since Walter has no external sex characteristics (had to have a DNA test to determine what sex he was), he can’t speak about such a wanton display personally. But his opinion is that type of display of franks and beans is inappropriate in mixed company
@chienfou @JennFrepa Only when it blasts off.
@Felton10 On behalf of great danes everywhere, I think Titan is now sad that he shouldn’t be showing off.
@JennFrepa Tell him Walter understands-everyone makes mistakes.
Is Walter okay with screaming goats?
@lordbowen If Walter hears a sound enough times, he will imitate it just like he does for me snoring.