Will get attacked rabid black bear with ties to a terrorist organization who is currently down on his luck and has finally been pushed over the edge when his once faithful companion cheated on him with his former boss after informing him he’s fired due to coming in five minutes late because of a flat tire he got hitting a curb while dodging to avoid what he thought was a small dog but was actually a box filled with nesting hornets that stung him right on the freakin’ nose… and you know that had to hurt.
I worry that the house won’t be there when I get back. There will just be a vacant piece of land there, and my neighbors will be, like: “What! There’s never been a house there! And who are you? Have we ever met?” So that’s why I never leave without a large box of photos of the house, from all angles, so I can prove it was there.
Tbh I actually get scared that my house will catch on fire and since my dogs are indoor dogs I am afraid they won’t get out since the doors are close which is why I always leave the door in the back unlock so they can push it open they are smart and know they can open doors with their head and open it from the outside with their paws
@daveinwarsh@therealjrn@Zigzagoon I cut the bottom half off the “basement” door leading to the backyard and hung a split heavy rug over the opening. When I’m home, I keep that door bolted but the steel security door open so the dogs can come and go. When I’m not home the steel security door is closed.
@RiotDemon I think it takes 2 mosquitos for breeding
But seriously, it’s hot here in TX, too. However, there’s plenty of shade and a dog dish full of icy water is not amenable to larvae.
I don’t want any guilt trip about my mostly-outdoor dog.
@compunaut not trying to guilt trip anyone. My dog is mostly indoor. She doesn’t like the heat. In the winter she’ll spend a lot of time outside. If she was going to be an outside dog I’d have water and comfortable shelter. Since she didn’t have those things, I felt bad.
I chose #2, but they eat at 7 and 7, so I always know if I fed them. It’s really a concern that I didn’t refresh their water dish, turn on the AC for them, etc.
I’m more afraid of stuff happening to me while I’m out, like getting robbed, shot, car accident, etc., than I am about anything back home. I’ve got my door-lockin’ garage-door-checkin’ window-closin’ routine pretty much down at this point.
FORGOT TO PUT THE LIONS BACK IN THEIR CAGE!!! LET ME TELL YOU, THE HOA HAS A STRICT ONE-STRIKE POLICY FOR THAT SORT OF THING!!! NOW I HAVE A CHECKLIST ON THE INSIDE OF MY FRONT DOOR, AMONGST ALL THE PEEPHOLES AND DEADBOLTS, HASPS, PROP-BARS AND OTHER DOOR LOCKS!!! YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO CAREFUL!!! OR TOO PARANOID!!!
@jst1ofkndMY STORE!!! I NEARLY FORGOT!!! FOR THE LAST WEEK I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR A COMMUNITY WITHOUT MANY RULES THAT IS FRIENDLY TO HAVING A FEW DOMESTIC LIONS IN THEIR MIDST!!! I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THE GREYS HAVE BRAINWASHED EVERYBODY INTO THINKING THAT THEY PRESENT SOME SORT OF HAZARD!!! I FIND IT BEST NOT TO MENTION THE LIONS!!!
Jake bought a lock we can control from an app on our phones. So now when our phones get more than 30 feet from the house, the door locks automatically and all the lights turn off. Didn’t help last saturday morning however when we got called out to a fire at a church and he left his phone on the kitchen counter. So far he’s automated our thermostat, living room and bedroom lamps, tv, stereo, and door locks.
Recently we’ve had a rash of arsons at local churches so I’ve contemplated buying cameras for our house and church.
@hchavers Our basement bathroom has one of those hook toilet paper holders where you can just slide the roll on and off. One of our cats has decided this is her new favorite game and she’ll remove the entire roll and bring it to the family room.
@lifftchi I used to be homeless too. You hang in there, bud. Make sure to at least try to use the poop bags they give you. Just do small baby steps at first–you’ll get there!
@lifftchi I’m with ya. We didn’t even change the locks when we moved into our old farmhouse. It’s the kind of place where the only security you need is a “No Trespassing” sign and good relations with the neighbors so they’ll notice if a strange car comes up the driveway. Hell, my mom lives in town and hasn’t locked her doors in almost 30 years, even when she’s on vacation. Our county’s homicide rate is in the single digits per decade, and home invasions aren’t much higher.
@lifftchi I live in a little development in the sticks in SE Georgia, and have accidentally left the garage door open a couple of times; nothing ever went missing.
That I forgot to close the garage door. It’s hard to see from the road and if I get distracted by something (pedestrian, other car) I can forget to look. I also forget to close it sometimes at night when I get home.
Stand in door way each day before I leave and do a mental checklist:
Drive (do I have my keys and my wallet)
Work (do I have my badge for door access at work)
See (do I have my glasses)
Call (do I have my phone)
Eat (did I bring my lunch)
Drink (did I bring my coffee)
Music (used to bring MP3 player to gym. Haven’t gone in years, still part of checklist)
Gum (ex-smoker’s best friend)
@hammersmn Yup. I tap each pocket before I go through the door. Wallet, keys, phone, firearm.
I often carry my phone in my shirt pocket, so people probably think it’s weird that I grope my butt, hips, and chest before I leave the room.
I only do exhaustive mental checklists when packing for a trip. I picture doing my morning routine and thinking about each item I use to make sure I packed it.
Did we lock the trash can?
Did we put the baby gate up on the stairs?
Did we leave any snacks out?
Did we leave our kid’s bedroom door open?
Did the dog already go potty?
@medz Wish I could, I live in an apartment not sure they’d enjoy me messing around with their “high quality” equipment. When I get a townhouse though, I’ll keep this one in mind.
Pretty much the only thing I worry about, on the rare occasions I worry about anything, is whether I brought my work keys. Wouldn’t do to drive there and not be able to get in.
Will have contact with another live human before I return home.
@Ignorant
Don’t Go Outside
Left the garage door open
Will get attacked rabid black bear with ties to a terrorist organization who is currently down on his luck and has finally been pushed over the edge when his once faithful companion cheated on him with his former boss after informing him he’s fired due to coming in five minutes late because of a flat tire he got hitting a curb while dodging to avoid what he thought was a small dog but was actually a box filled with nesting hornets that stung him right on the freakin’ nose… and you know that had to hurt.
@Tin_Foil wow…me too!
Forgot to put my tin foil hat on.
@daveinwarsh
@daveinwarsh
What the hell did I do to you??!?
@Tin_Foil Nothing.
I have enough tin foil for both of us, if you’re running low.
@daveinwarsh
I have more than enough of me for me – I just don’t wanna be a hat.
@Tin_Foil oops…
I’m very respectful with tin_foil at all times… and would appreciate it if you wouldn’t mind being a hat for just a little longer.
Am leaving the house.
I worry that the house won’t be there when I get back. There will just be a vacant piece of land there, and my neighbors will be, like: “What! There’s never been a house there! And who are you? Have we ever met?” So that’s why I never leave without a large box of photos of the house, from all angles, so I can prove it was there.
@rockblossom
@LeviOhPlz @rockblossom
@rockblossom
@rockblossom
That we forget to put the stick in the sliding glass door
@moonhat Good ol’ trusty door stick. Everyone with a sliding door has one.
Tbh I actually get scared that my house will catch on fire and since my dogs are indoor dogs I am afraid they won’t get out since the doors are close which is why I always leave the door in the back unlock so they can push it open they are smart and know they can open doors with their head and open it from the outside with their paws
@Zigzagoon You need a dog/deer door…
@daveinwarsh @Zigzagoon So cute. Unfortunately, with the size of my dogs it would be a dog/burglar door.
@daveinwarsh @moondrake @Zigzagoon Or, in other words, a door.
@daveinwarsh @therealjrn @Zigzagoon I cut the bottom half off the “basement” door leading to the backyard and hung a split heavy rug over the opening. When I’m home, I keep that door bolted but the steel security door open so the dogs can come and go. When I’m not home the steel security door is closed.
@moondrake Clever!
@moondrake @therealjrn Nice. No self-respecting burglar will ever crawl through that rug!
@daveinwarsh @moondrake @therealjrn @Zigzagoon The “doggie door” for my late doggie was leaving the back door ajar. She wasn’t bright enough to open it by herself.
Left my kids to fend for themselves, and someone is going to lose an eye.
That I left my dog in the backyard. I did that once and went to work. I felt fucking awful.
Now I’m not alone, so I don’t have to worry, but for weeks it nagged at me.
@RiotDemon What’s wrong with your back yard?
@compunaut it’s Florida. It’s hot. I don’t leave water outside because standing water breeds mosquitos.
@RiotDemon I think it takes 2 mosquitos for breeding
But seriously, it’s hot here in TX, too. However, there’s plenty of shade and a dog dish full of icy water is not amenable to larvae.
I don’t want any guilt trip about my mostly-outdoor dog.
@compunaut @RiotDemon
@compunaut not trying to guilt trip anyone. My dog is mostly indoor. She doesn’t like the heat. In the winter she’ll spend a lot of time outside. If she was going to be an outside dog I’d have water and comfortable shelter. Since she didn’t have those things, I felt bad.
@therealjrn FTFY.
I chose #2, but they eat at 7 and 7, so I always know if I fed them. It’s really a concern that I didn’t refresh their water dish, turn on the AC for them, etc.
I’m more afraid of stuff happening to me while I’m out, like getting robbed, shot, car accident, etc., than I am about anything back home. I’ve got my door-lockin’ garage-door-checkin’ window-closin’ routine pretty much down at this point.
FORGOT TO PUT THE LIONS BACK IN THEIR CAGE!!! LET ME TELL YOU, THE HOA HAS A STRICT ONE-STRIKE POLICY FOR THAT SORT OF THING!!! NOW I HAVE A CHECKLIST ON THE INSIDE OF MY FRONT DOOR, AMONGST ALL THE PEEPHOLES AND DEADBOLTS, HASPS, PROP-BARS AND OTHER DOOR LOCKS!!! YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO CAREFUL!!! OR TOO PARANOID!!!
@AlexJones
Where have you been? Also, where’s the link to your store?
@jst1ofknd MY STORE!!! I NEARLY FORGOT!!! FOR THE LAST WEEK I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR A COMMUNITY WITHOUT MANY RULES THAT IS FRIENDLY TO HAVING A FEW DOMESTIC LIONS IN THEIR MIDST!!! I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THE GREYS HAVE BRAINWASHED EVERYBODY INTO THINKING THAT THEY PRESENT SOME SORT OF HAZARD!!! I FIND IT BEST NOT TO MENTION THE LIONS!!!
@jst1ofknd YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO PARANOID!!!
Jake bought a lock we can control from an app on our phones. So now when our phones get more than 30 feet from the house, the door locks automatically and all the lights turn off. Didn’t help last saturday morning however when we got called out to a fire at a church and he left his phone on the kitchen counter. So far he’s automated our thermostat, living room and bedroom lamps, tv, stereo, and door locks.
Recently we’ve had a rash of arsons at local churches so I’ve contemplated buying cameras for our house and church.
That the chemtrails will get me.
I worry that all my neighbors in the rent houses watched me leave and they might want something.
Did not close the bathroom door for the dog is to get into the trash.
@hchavers Our basement bathroom has one of those hook toilet paper holders where you can just slide the roll on and off. One of our cats has decided this is her new favorite game and she’ll remove the entire roll and bring it to the family room.
@hchavers @medz that sounds too cute-- does she carry it in her mouth? Or bat and kind of roll it??
I probably shouldn’t say this, but I live in one of the silicon valley suburbs, and I don’t even bother to lock my doors. Or close my windows.
I guess my worry is that one day I’ll move somewhere where this behavior is no longer reasonable?
@lifftchi I used to be homeless too. You hang in there, bud. Make sure to at least try to use the poop bags they give you. Just do small baby steps at first–you’ll get there!
@lifftchi I’m with ya. We didn’t even change the locks when we moved into our old farmhouse. It’s the kind of place where the only security you need is a “No Trespassing” sign and good relations with the neighbors so they’ll notice if a strange car comes up the driveway. Hell, my mom lives in town and hasn’t locked her doors in almost 30 years, even when she’s on vacation. Our county’s homicide rate is in the single digits per decade, and home invasions aren’t much higher.
@lifftchi I live in a little development in the sticks in SE Georgia, and have accidentally left the garage door open a couple of times; nothing ever went missing.
That I forgot my phone…
That I forgot to close the garage door. It’s hard to see from the road and if I get distracted by something (pedestrian, other car) I can forget to look. I also forget to close it sometimes at night when I get home.
@bocoroth buy the cameras on meh.com today and you can put one in your garage. You can check your garage door remotely via the app!
@bocoroth you’d think there would be a ‘smart’ garage door on meh one day to help with that issue…
Did I remember to bring the dogs in from the back yard?
Stand in door way each day before I leave and do a mental checklist:
Drive (do I have my keys and my wallet)
Work (do I have my badge for door access at work)
See (do I have my glasses)
Call (do I have my phone)
Eat (did I bring my lunch)
Drink (did I bring my coffee)
Music (used to bring MP3 player to gym. Haven’t gone in years, still part of checklist)
Gum (ex-smoker’s best friend)
@hammersmn Yup. I tap each pocket before I go through the door. Wallet, keys, phone, firearm.
I often carry my phone in my shirt pocket, so people probably think it’s weird that I grope my butt, hips, and chest before I leave the room.
I only do exhaustive mental checklists when packing for a trip. I picture doing my morning routine and thinking about each item I use to make sure I packed it.
@hammersmn @medz not weird.
…forgot to make the bed. That usually results in quinoa and tofu for dinner.
@Steve7654 both of those give me heartburn.
Did we lock the trash can?
Did we put the baby gate up on the stairs?
Did we leave any snacks out?
Did we leave our kid’s bedroom door open?
Did the dog already go potty?
This I forgot to get my daughter bus money.
I always check to make sure I turned off the AC/Heat. You get used to hearing that sound and you start forgetting that.
@Targaryen Get an ecobee thermostat, bruv. Set schedules and adjust it remotely if needed.
@medz Wish I could, I live in an apartment not sure they’d enjoy me messing around with their “high quality” equipment. When I get a townhouse though, I’ll keep this one in mind.
@Targaryen turn off or adjust the temp? I never turn it off completely.
Pretty much the only thing I worry about, on the rare occasions I worry about anything, is whether I brought my work keys. Wouldn’t do to drive there and not be able to get in.
Left something on/charging/what-have-you that will result in a fire.
My wife worries that she didn’t open the chicken coop. That’s about it.