Fucking awesome writeups

f00l thought this was worth mentioning said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 8:23am ET

TO: tom@thomaspynchon.com
SUBJ: Is this you?

Just taking a stab at a random email address. You should really put up a Facebook page or something and make it a little easier to track you down. It’s 2017 for crying out loud!

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for your writing. Gravity’s Rainbow is one of the most erotic novels I’ve ever enjoyed reading, and not a year goes by that I don’t revisit it while alone on some dark evening in the bath. It’s like Mapplethorpe meets model rockets. I love it, and have lost several friendships from vociferously forcing it on people to read.

Is there a part two on the way? Would love to see a 000001. You could start crankin’ those things out like Wolverine clones, honestly. Update your profile pic while you’re at it!

Lost at the Hermann Göring Casino,

Meh

Mehny Fucks Given.

Thx.

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InnocuousFarmer said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 9:08am ET:

From Wikipedia.

It was revealed on August 28, 2014 that during pre-production of “All’s Fair in Oven War”, Pynchon faxed one page from the script to producer Matt Selman with several handwritten edits to his lines. Of particular emphasis was Pynchon’s outright refusal to utter the line “No wonder Homer is such a fat-ass.” Pynchon’s objection apparently had nothing to do with the salty language as he explained in a footnote to the edit, “…Homer is my role model and I can’t speak ill of him.”

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f00l said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 9:21am ET:

TO: webmaster@wilwheaton.net
SUBJ: We cool?

Hey Wil,

Long time no chat. So long, in fact, I just wanted to drop a line and say hi.

I miss you buddy.

Seems like you’re doing well. Not to get all stalkery or whatever, lol, but you do put your life out there on social media in that typical celebrity fashion so I feel like it’s not super weird that I read about your gaming sessions on your blog and watch videos of you and pause them whenever you smile.

Anyhoo, I know I’ve said it a million times already but I’m really, really, REALLY sorry for calling you “Lil’ Wil Wheat Thin.” It was juvenile and stupid and to be honest it doesn’t even really make a lot of sense, I was just riffing on similar sounding words. I’ve never even seen you EAT Wheat Thins, tbh. For all I know you hate ‘em. Or love ‘em. Either way, man.

Also totally not a big deal and no pressure but I was just remembering that time you sort of promised you’d snag me one of Michael Dorn’s old prosthetic foreheads and like I said I totally don’t expect you to like, leap into action to make that happen or whatever. It’s just that I had a video of you saying it when I cornered you at that Dave & Buster’s and it made me think “Wow that’s sort of like a legally binding contract” or whatever but I’m not being that guy. Just let me know when you think you’ll get around to asking him.

Boldly flowing,

Meh

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pictureone said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 10:08am ET:

RE: A phone that starts your heart… DONE!

http://www.rapidresponserevival.com.au/world-first-with-a-mobile-phone-defibrillator/
-or-
http://www.rapidresponserevival.com.au/world-first-with-a-mobile-phone-defibrillator/
-or-
https://www.google.com/patents/US20140222096

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mehcuda67 said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 10:27am ET:

LMAO on the Michelin man writeup. That made my day!

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- @mehcuda67 “Seriously though Diet Pepsi tastes like what I imagine the chemicals that transformed the Joker would taste like” had me laughing hard enough for my cat to run in the room and make sure I wasn’t seizing.
  
  mikey said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 11:33am ET
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scilynt said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 11:33am ET:

Is there one place/page to read them all?

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- @scilynt I sure hope so!
  
  UncleVinny said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 5:15pm ET
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jedijson said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 11:47am ET:

Will you please combine all the emails into one post? OML. I am going to spend my entire day on here just to read these things…and to spend money I don’t have. “I swear to God if you turn up dirty I am gonna lose it.” OMDG. ::crying laughter::

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caffeineguy said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 11:53am ET:

It was also be pretty damn funny if they actually sent them and posted any responses received

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thejackalope said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 11:54am ET:

Please! Let these actually be sent to the recipients. I really like imagining some of these folks being like “what in the world?!?” about these write-ups.
/giphy pretty please

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rmeden said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 3:48pm ET:

I keep expecting to find these signed Lazlo Toth, American.

For anyone not familiar, check out The Lazlo Letters
(by Father Guido Sarducci himself!)

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- @rmeden when I was a young pup there was Bruce West and Outrageously Yours: Outrageously Yours https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399514104/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_vLCjAbDRH9AXX
  
  Oh, the LOLs I had!
  
  UncleVinny said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 5:17pm ET
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- @rmeden My friends and I loved that book. Was it the Mr. Bubble letter where they sent him coupons for his mother? And the one to Ferdinand Marcos in Manila, Philippines where he told him how much he liked his envelopes?
  
  SSteve said Sat, Jan 13th 2018 at 1:20am ET
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themutilator said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 4:44pm ET:

@starbucks "I just wish you made decent coffee because after I get my cake pops I have to run to Dunkin every time and get a cup there."
It’s funny 'cause it’s true.

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- @themutilator Best one yet!
  
  seancookpdx said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 4:45pm ET
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- @themutilator @seancookpdx I busted out laughing - then started wondering if the Mehditor was reading my mind. Awesome.
  
  mehcuda67 said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 5:24pm ET
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AttyVette said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 8:43pm ET:

These email messages were great…lol

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Pufferfishy said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 10:20pm ET:

I have been avoiding this thread all day - but the write-ups keep getting better and better…

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andyw said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 11:27pm ET:

The letters I saw were almost all very clever and funny. It would be nice if they were collected in one place when the day is done.

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- @andyw No promises, but they have collated other series of posts before.
  
  therealjrn said Mon, Dec 4th 2017 at 11:39pm ET
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- @therealjrn Thanks.
  
  andyw said Tue, Dec 5th 2017 at 6:44am ET
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dave said Fri, Jan 12th 2018 at 5:34pm ET:

Remembering I never posted all of these. Should I?

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- @dave Yes.
  
  brhfl said Fri, Jan 12th 2018 at 5:38pm ET
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- @dave Please.
  
  speediedelivery said Fri, Jan 12th 2018 at 9:52pm ET
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- @dave yes. I missed most of them.
  
  RiotDemon said Fri, Jan 12th 2018 at 10:58pm ET
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- @dave Yes. They really were reminiscent of The Lazlo Letters in the best possible way.
  
  SSteve said Sat, Jan 13th 2018 at 1:15am ET
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- @dave duh.
  
  v said Sat, Jan 13th 2018 at 2:08am ET
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- @dave Definitely. These could stand on their own as a classic meh feature!
  
  mehcuda67 said Sat, Jan 13th 2018 at 9:27am ET
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- @dave You have to ask???
  
  TrophyHusband said Sat, Jan 13th 2018 at 1:14pm ET
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- @dave
  
  kdemo said Sun, Jan 14th 2018 at 12:40am ET
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- @dave did you really need to ask?
  
  jbartus said Mon, Jan 15th 2018 at 2:29am ET
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