Coronageddon Humor, Summer Vacation Edition

@mike808

@asplus That’s terrible!

I’m stealing it.

@asplus I can’t find it now, but there was another really bad Amazon joke. When it came out that Jeff Bezos’ ex-wife and his new girlfriend were friends, some some wag observed that it made sense.

“If you like MacKenzie you may also be interested in Lauren.”

@shahnm I’m lifting this.

@OldCatLady @shahnm
paging @pooltoywolf

@chienfou @OldCatLady @shahnm I remember that pic lol, but the caption is new. Usually, it pops up with ‘Choo Choo, Motherfucker’. That photo was actually part of a movie scene! The unit in question is an ex-Canadian Pacific (Well, CP Rail at the time) EMD FP7A. It was an empty shell by the time filming started.

@PooltoyWolf
I knew I could count on you!

@chienfou -beams-

@OldCatLady It might sound like a good idea, until the chocolate melts and your mask just turns into a big brown stain around your face. At least you’ll smell nice to chocolaholics.

KuoH

@kuoh M&Ms melt in your mouth, not in your mask.

@OldCatLady Even with your hot moist breath constantly on them? If they didn’t melt, we’d have to start calling you OldIceQueen.

KuoH

@kuoh @OldCatLady But with the mask, nobody can see the mess!

@OldCatLady And a knock of that (although who knows which was the original)

@Kidsandliz @OldCatLady I’m having a hard time believing the “slowly” part of both of them for some reason.

@asplus I think I know that girl…

This really happened in Pensacola, FL. A group of Antifa folks split off a peaceful demonstration (they got bored?) and tried to block traffic on the Three Mile Bridge. The guy and his family in the Ford were trying to make a flight in Ft. Walton and inched his way around the protesters. The idiot jumped on his hood and tried to rip his mirror off. The driver continued to cross the bridge over to Gulf Breeze. After out-running the mob chasing after the car I probably would have brake checked his ass.
BTW: They missed their flight.

@Mehrocco_Mole

@blaineg You mean like here in the US we don’t teach much about traitors that fought for the right to own other people as property and lost? Or why it is wrong to praise those that committed treason and waged war against the United States or to erect statues and displays of their dishonor?

Yeah, lots of Americans know how it feels.

@mike808 The Civil War was covered pretty well in my schooling, but I can imagine a different version might be taught in former slaveholder states.

The War of 1812, and the British sacking of Washington DC was glossed right over though.

@blaineg My Dad had an English friend (who’d been here for decades) and they had fun ribbing each other over the years. My Dad’s favorite though was when he innocently asked him: “So, do you have the 4th of July in England?”

“We certainly do NOT!”

“Oh, well what do you put between the 3rd & the 5th then?”

@blaineg

The War of 1812, and the British sacking of Washington DC was glossed right over though.

The in U.K., the Brit-vs-US War of 1812 is seen (somewhat justifiably, to a degree, from their perspective), as a Napoleon-generated sideshow to the greater Europe-wide Napoleonic Wars.

Didn’t it all start over seamen on US ships captured and impressed into the Royal Navy? And over US trade w France?

From our perspective, the U.K. conduct and policies were seen, properly, as heinous intolerable. A total assault on US sovereignty.

And the U.K. was nothing if not arrogant at that time.

However: From the U.K. perspective, they were trying to stop or control the “Alexander The Great of that era”, a genius general who intended to, and tried to, conquer the western world.

(Napoleon did have plans to go after all of Europe. He never got far enough to contemplate other entire continents, so we don’t know whether he would have stopped with Europe, Russia, Egypt, the Middle-East, and N Africa, or whether he would have kept going.)

Idk what their textbooks say about the American War of Independence. But … somehow, most U.K. residents seem to know it happened and what the result was; and seem to be ok about it.

I guess they like our movies, music, and fast food.
: )

George III predicted the George Washington would soon be a King. He was reportedly quite impressed that Washington repeatedly refused the explicit offers.

George IV, the very dissolute Prince of Wales, was in favor of the colony’s cause during the entire war, and wore the colonists’ colors and sang their songs at parties where the King was present, as a deliberate irritant and provocation to his father.

Cincinnati is named after the Roman general Cincinnatus, who won wars and then returned to his farm, refusing endless political power. . George Washington was repeatedly compared during his own lifetime to Cincinnatus.
IE Cincinnati is named to honor Gen/Pres Washington.

When George Washington died, he received from the U.K. govt a 19-volley salute of cannon fired across the Thames in his honor; such was the respect he had gained.

When George Washington died, Napoleon bowed his head and held a moment of silence in his honor.
A gesture of respect from one general to another; and from one who claimed dictatorial powers toward one who disclaimed them.

@blaineg

The Civil War was covered pretty well in my schooling, but I can imagine a different version might be taught in former slaveholder states.

Pretty much true, growing up with a private high school education in New Orleans. For me, I qas taught the War of 1812 was about the “hero” Gen. Andrew Jackson saving New Orleans from the Brits. The Trail of Tears, not so much.

The darker and uglier parts of the city’s history of operating the largest slave market in the US (now the Customs House building) were definitely downplayed or just omitted entirely. It was more about the different systems of rule (French, Spanish, British, and US) and “trade” (omitting the “slave” parts of that). Mostly in the interests of not picking at the wounds of the past, but I think there was also a sense of not wanting to address the conflicted history of slavery and the Civil War because there just wasn’t a vocabulary or societal framework for finding constructive paths forward.

Just like the first thing you talk about and do at Thanskgiving dinner isn’t about the outrageous and offensive things your drunk uncle said last Thanksgiving (about LSU ) and holding an intervention.

New Orleans is a conflicted place, no question, and with much to celebrate, but also with much to reflect upon and heal. I would like to think that for the larger post-Katrina New Orleans diaspora, there has been reflection and healing, and we see some of that in the city reimagined today, freed from some of the chains of its past. Not all by a long shot, but some.

I’m also finally watching the HBO series Treme (just finished binging The Wire), set in post-Katrina New Orleans, and it’s still a gut-punch 15 years later.

@blaineg Another War of 1812 story is about the French Napoleon supporters in New Orleans prepared a residence for him to live in exile after his empire collapsed. It still stands today, and is called “The Napoleon House”, go figure.

@blaineg @mike808

I think Napoleon gave thought to going to New Orleans after Waterloo; but after the battle, the victorious foreign troops got to Paris too quickly for that.

@asplus And blondes are becoming an endangered species.

@cinoclav
I thought the whole point was they were insensitive to the needs of others.

@chienfou Insensitive to the needs of others but overly sensitive about following the recommendations.

@Mehrocco_Mole right!

@OldCatLady Lift complete!

@OldCatLady You weren’t kidding about lifting this…! I had naively assumed you meant for use elsewhere, but no site like the present, what what…

@asplus This is why we have a shortage of masks

@asplus I can live with that, even if it kills me. If she lived next door and needed more masks, I’d be happy to donate them… and help with proper fitment, which as the experts have pointed out is very critical.

KuoH

@asplus @KuoH
Agree. Proper fitment is a must. It cannot be done by a robot either. There are just some things that will always require a hand job.

@kuoh @mike808

@kuoh @mike808 Now if she wore these kind of masks, things could get really interesting

@tinamarie1974 Just be weary of anyone trying to sell “trendy” pre-distressed pre-stained models.

KuoH

@kuoh hahaha. These look far too hot to be a summer mask…so sad I am in a headspace to think about these things.

@kuoh @tinamarie1974
Actually, those look really disturbing to me!

@chienfou @kuoh they are wrong on so many levels!

@chienfou @tinamarie1974 I guess even if they’ve been laid off, they still have to make the house payment somehow. A bad idea is better than no idea if you believe some of our government officials.

KuoH

@asplus I need 4 squares please and which way is the restroom?

KuoH

@kuoh HaHa, yes, this is strange

@kuoh This has to be edited (photo shopped). Toilet rolls do not cost 89.95

@asplus Maybe not today, but 3 months ago, I wouldn’t have been surprised if it were true.

KuoH

@kuoh 4 squares for sample testing only or for the whole enchilada … that was consumed the day before

@asplus @kuoh

This has to be edited (photo shopped). Toilet rolls do not cost 89.95

Judging by the Carib stacked in the background I’d say that might be in XCD which are pegged to the US $ at 2.70 XCD to 1 USD.

@asplus This reminds me, I have to go take my medicine now

@asplus That’s way too low a dose…

@shahnm can do multiple sprays each time…
there are no restrictions

@asplus Funny, but a horrible idea. Those slits around the flag on their head are vents for letting the air pressure created by the fan out. Anything they exhale is being forcibly ejected by the positive pressure within the costume into the environment around them.

@asplus
awesome

POPSOCKETS! COURT DOCKETS! FOLK ROCK HITS! AWESOME!

@Cerridwyn It takes 15 Heineken to face one Corona

@asplus
maybe it needs to stand off some Guinness instead

@asplus @Cerridwyn You’ll never get faced on one Corona.

As for Guinness, its an acquired taste. At first, it tastes like drinking month-old bong water out of a log left in the woods. After, its like drinking a loaf of bread.

@asplus @mike808
depends on what you like.
I’ve been able to choke down old school domestic beer, like Bud for example. In college, we used to have movies on the lawn, and Schlitz, remember them?, brought kegs. both light and dark. it’s when I learned dark beer is okay
my first Guinness was ooo, what’s this?

@asplus @Cerridwyn
Ah, Schlitz. Probably a regional equivalent to a warm Dixie or Jax or Falstaff. I’ve grown fond of New Glarus, Schlafly, Leinenkeugel, and Abita for domestic brews, and Belgian monasteries for imports.

@asplus More batteries in there?