@Kyeh@tweezak The issues with burn rate variation in a potentially non-motionless mounting, and the difficulty that can be predicted in assuring vertical, flame-end-up orientation are enough to call that calibration into serious question for the claimed application. And that’s without the issues of false end-of-run signals due to collapse of the wall around the pool at the base of the exposed section of wick.</pedant>
@Kyeh@werehatrack Another possibility is that you insert the candle to any desired depth and then slide the calibrated paper index to the starting point tearing off any excess.
We are guessing, though. I wonder if there’s a YouTube instructional video.
@phendrick@tweezak Cold-blast kerosene lanterns are even better. Safer, more efficient, and easy to take with you if you need to inspect something outdoors or take it with you to the dumper during a power outage.
@brennyn@phendrick I’ve always heard them called hurricane lanterns. I also didn’t know they used kerosene. They are really cool. I only have one and I’ve never lit it. I will have to try it out.
@awk@FightingMongoos
Oh God I LOVE those prank boxes. Gave one of these as a baby shower packaging once…
Not sure it was appreciated as much as I thought it would be! Turns out a bunch of women (one of whom is terminally pregnant) don’t have as much of a twisted sense of humor as I do.
@lisaviolet they have enough sense to stay out of the fireplace. Barely. An open candle? NOPE. A heavy jar candle might be ok. But I’m pretty sure some of them are worse than kids…
@lisaviolet@unksol
“back in the day” (mid 70’s) while I was in college in Boulder, we had a cat in the apt complex that kind of came and went from apt to apt.
One night after blowing a big bong my 2 roommates and I were sitting all mellowed out on the couch with the door open and in walked the community cat. As (s)he walked his(her) tail flipped from one side to the other at the top, and (s)he proceeded to mosey down the length of the coffee table… where we had a candle burning to ‘hide’ the activity (pot was still nominally illegal in those days). With each step it got more and more evident that the ultimate fate was her (his?) tail would be directly over the candle when he(she) got abreast of it. Of course we couldn’t do anything about it (other than watch… did I mention we were stoned?) and sure enough, when the time came there was a quick flare up of the end of the cat’s tail and it immediately launched itself up the Indian print bedspread we used as curtains to divide the living room from the dining room.
The smell of burning hair was WAY more effective at covering the pot smell. TL:DR cats & candles = bad combination.
@Kyeh@lisaviolet@unksol
yep. Not sure how (why?) I survived University of Colorado… One time we posed for pics on the slope of the roof to the single floor part of the building we could access by climbing over the wall of the walkway in front of our 2nd story apt.
Oh, did I mention it was winter, there was snow on the roof, and we were wearing our full downhill ski shit, including the skis!
As a witchy person, I just really love candles. That said, there’s a special place in my heart for the candles that light up a jack o lanterns little eyes
When I was a kid, I saw these being sold in a tourist souvenir shop (I was shocked
)
@Kyeh As an engineer I have to question the standard deviation of those hour markings. I want to see the test data from product R&D
@tweezak I really don’t, personally.
@Kyeh That’s hilarious!
@Kyeh @tweezak The issues with burn rate variation in a potentially non-motionless mounting, and the difficulty that can be predicted in assuring vertical, flame-end-up orientation are enough to call that calibration into serious question for the claimed application. And that’s without the issues of false end-of-run signals due to collapse of the wall around the pool at the base of the exposed section of wick.</pedant>
@Kyeh @tweezak @werehatrack
Pedantry – it’s what’s for breakfast – for pendants.
@Kyeh @werehatrack Another possibility is that you insert the candle to any desired depth and then slide the calibrated paper index to the starting point tearing off any excess.
We are guessing, though. I wonder if there’s a YouTube instructional video.
@phendrick @tweezak @werehatrack
Who even sleeps on their stomach, though?
@Kyeh @phendrick @tweezak @werehatrack I sleep on my stomach, however I DO NOT want to be a test subject.
The candles you wish you could locate when the electricity goes off.
(And then, you’d have to find the matches…)
@phendrick Old oil lamps are way better. Classier too.
@phendrick @tweezak Is that a proper mantle lamp? Sure looks bright enough to be one!
@phendrick @tweezak Cold-blast kerosene lanterns are even better. Safer, more efficient, and easy to take with you if you need to inspect something outdoors or take it with you to the dumper during a power outage.
@phendrick @PooltoyWolf I think it’s the camera that is making it appear very bright. I suspect it’s a regular oil lamp.
Aladdin mantle lamps generally have a tall and thin chimney and a tendency toward greenish light. They are crazy bright though. (and expensive!)
This model is the cheapest I’ve found for $199
https://imperiallightingco.com/product/aladdin-lamp-clear-crystal-genie-iii-shelf-lamp-with-brass-hardware-part-c6107b/
@brennyn @phendrick I’ve always heard them called hurricane lanterns. I also didn’t know they used kerosene. They are really cool. I only have one and I’ve never lit it. I will have to try it out.
Roman Candles - at twenty paces, at dawn!
@ajdillon This!
And then you can step up to the Roman Missal.
/image earwax candle prank
@awk ewww!!
@awk
@awk @FightingMongoos
Oh God I LOVE those prank boxes. Gave one of these as a baby shower packaging once…
Not sure it was appreciated as much as I thought it would be! Turns out a bunch of women (one of whom is terminally pregnant) don’t have as much of a twisted sense of humor as I do.
Flameless. With cats, definitely flameless.
@lisaviolet they have enough sense to stay out of the fireplace. Barely. An open candle? NOPE. A heavy jar candle might be ok. But I’m pretty sure some of them are worse than kids…
Not that I’ve tried but one of them just would
@lisaviolet @unksol
“back in the day” (mid 70’s) while I was in college in Boulder, we had a cat in the apt complex that kind of came and went from apt to apt.
One night after blowing a big bong my 2 roommates and I were sitting all mellowed out on the couch with the door open and in walked the community cat. As (s)he walked his(her) tail flipped from one side to the other at the top, and (s)he proceeded to mosey down the length of the coffee table… where we had a candle burning to ‘hide’ the activity (pot was still nominally illegal in those days). With each step it got more and more evident that the ultimate fate was her (his?) tail would be directly over the candle when he(she) got abreast of it. Of course we couldn’t do anything about it (other than watch… did I mention we were stoned?) and sure enough, when the time came there was a quick flare up of the end of the cat’s tail and it immediately launched itself up the Indian print bedspread we used as curtains to divide the living room from the dining room.
The smell of burning hair was WAY more effective at covering the pot smell.
TL:DR cats & candles = bad combination.
@chienfou @lisaviolet @unksol
Poor kitty - you’re really lucky the whole apartment didn’t go up in flames! 
@Kyeh @lisaviolet @unksol
yep. Not sure how (why?) I survived University of Colorado… One time we posed for pics on the slope of the roof to the single floor part of the building we could access by climbing over the wall of the walkway in front of our 2nd story apt.
Oh, did I mention it was winter, there was snow on the roof, and we were wearing our full downhill ski shit, including the skis!
@chienfou @lisaviolet @unksol
You did your part to maintain CU Boulder’s reputation as a party school, obviously!
@Kyeh @lisaviolet @unksol
where do you think the rep came from??
@chienfou @lisaviolet @unksol
You take full credit, eh?
@Kyeh @lisaviolet @unksol
Well… I did have some help
Sharky candles with lasers. I don’t know what that is, but it sure sounds fun.
The candle on the toilet for when someone blows up the bathroom.
I prefer Beyond Bird Entrails.
As a witchy person, I just really love candles. That said, there’s a special place in my heart for the candles that light up a jack o lanterns little eyes
Roman candles. But not indoors.
D cell candles.
@blaineg I can never get the little nub on top of the D cells to stay lit…
/giphy blow out the candles
