Here's the thing Irk, we really don't want to cuddle with you, we want to cuddle with a reasonable facsimile of you. Perhaps even a softer, squishier version of you. Does that put things in a different light ?
@ NOOOO!!!! I'd spoon & cuddle with Irk... So would my wife, and son... No not all together... that just made it akward... And now you (especially you @matthew, really did you need to picture that...) need more mind bleach!
I reject your answer. I still ache for an Irk plushie. It wouldn't take much: just some thread, textured fabric, and the sewing skills of a Girl Scout. Even if you make just one for me. Make the intern do it.
In lieu of a plushie, would you consider cloning yourself, Irk, and then making your clones available to us VMPs?