I was not in a good mood when my 40th birthday was approaching. I found out my girlfriend of the time had a surprise party planned for the occasion. I made her cancel it. Put her in the same bad mood I was in.
I love a surprise—knowing someone planned that much in advance and thought through it, etc., that would mean a lot to me. That being said, I know I’m generally in the minority, and I would never spring a surprise party on someone who hasn’t mentioned wanting one.
@capguncowboy@phendrick@pmarin I don’t even wear glasses and I read it as surprise panties too. I was carefully considering my answer when I realized what it actually says. Either way I think it depends on what’s the occasion for the surprise.
No “meh” option? That seems wrong. As do surprise parties, for the most part. But sometimes they work, so I can’t quite say they’re “the worst”. But, yeah, I prefer just hanging with a few people (I’m fine with one; two or three at a time is usually the max) I like to any kind of “party”. That’s what I’m going to do at a party anyway. Why not skip the middleman?
SWMBO and I have about a 2-couple limit to our comfort zone for socializing, as in SWMBO and I, and 1 other carefully selected couple [but they’re totally optional as we truly enjoy each others exclusive company].
Having to “circulate” through a larger group of distant family and/or acquaintances, used-to-be friends, or ex-co-workers equates to brutal torture for me.
@PhysAssist Yep. I’ve learned to manage, and might even mingle, but my holy of holies is finding someone genuinely interesting (and probably, hopefully, obscenely intelligent) and monopolizing their evening. I don’t want to give off stalker vibes though or indeed, be selfish; hence the periodic mingling. Or sometimes I mingle on my way to the person I really want to talk to if I find myself in a suboptimal early on. Actually I work a lot socially to make sure I’m not breaking the rules (I swear, I’m not a serial killer, but I can be off-putting–but also immensely adorable to those who get me).
@joelmw Similarly, I can cope with interacting in larger groups of people, but it is not my preference to need to do so.
Thus, I tend to avoid them, especially since I am always at least somewhat concerned re:/anticipating the possibility of a Zomb-pocalypse, my level of discomfort increases on a log-10 scale with the size of any given gathering.
BTW, adequate Zomb-pocalypse preparation is my preferred benchmark for general disaster/events of life preparation, and has been ever since the CDC promoted disaster prep in their “Don’t be a Zombie” adverts. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2021/03/05/zombie-apocalypse-cdc-useful-advice-any-emergency-pandemic/6920614002/
It all depends- they’re great if I/we’re the ones doing the surprising, but terrible if I’m the one being surprised.
The paranoia when that occurs when you realize all your close friends and family are conspiring about something you have no insight into or part of, can be crushing.
I’m not sure that the blow-off, when it comes, is enough relief to make up for that.
OTOH, I love having foreknowledge of an upcoming good thing happening for the someones that I care about.
It’s kind of like when I realize that my In-Laws have an unexpectedly large tax return coming, when I finish doing their taxes. It makes me feel full of glee!
Every time eye drink coffee a surprise is definitely going to happen. Of course the first time was the worst as eye sh!+ my pants. Eye am now totally prepared and just when eye thought eye made it through it comes. So eye now stay close to the jon for up to 1 hour after that last sip. Those caffeine and B4 drinks cause the same anal seepage however they are very addicting to those with addictive personalities.