“I know what I’m doing” . . . Because people love to come stir a pot when you’re cooking like you don’t know what you’re doing. . . I know it’s simmering. I know! I don’t need you to stir.
Or. “Help wanted”. And put the mat in front of the sink so people can get the message to wash the dishes.
Paw prints! Who doesn’t love paw prints, and I’ve never seen paw print mats in stores. You could do regular cuddly/domesticated-type animals, and then some crazy versions, too: flamingo prints, giraffe prints, part of a giant mammoth print? All good. Or go with cryptid prints: Sasquatch, chupacabra, you get the gist.
I really like the theme going here with the rug looking like a hole or shaft, something below pictured. Just add a sheet of glass on top that appears to be cracking under weight.
That’s a winner.
If you can have the mats custom printed, you could probably also have them not put a damn thing on them. Just a basic, no clever saying, no pictures, no pattern, kitchen mat. That’s the most universally marketable idea, so you’ll probably order them with an anthropomorphic banana with a baby arm holding a knife with “Here’s Johnny!” written across the bottom.
Think it’s posted for a relevant price comparison. Opposed to the similar $60. This makes it similar $16.
Which is actually cheaper than buying a 4 pack here, which is $17 for those that don’t pay the monthly membership fee to shop here. Also you can buy the number you want at the store. Plus, some may like the idea of having all one color.
In summary, not a bad link to post. It’s relevant and helpful I feel.
Ideas for the kitchen fatigue mat- “Stand here if you didn’t cook”, “Choreplay is the new foreplay”, " Real men do dishes", " No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes", “your turn”
@shahnm cuz you gotta use up your batteries somehow otherwise that population explosion in your fridge might lead to overcrowding and your batteries may start an uprising.
I suggest a kitchen measurement conversion table. 1Cups = 8oz= 16tbs = 48 tsp type of scale thing. I realize something this useful cuts against the meh grain but what the hell, it’s a new decade.
@craigcush chip on board (as opposed to discrete or SMD LEDs) and probably not.
It has to do with how the LEDs are constructed. The entire yellow ring has LEDs embedded in it and they are directly on the circuit board (pretty much).
@craigcush There is an ANSI standard for measuring luminous output. The light source is placed inside or directed into a white sphere (a.k.a integrating sphere) and the light is measured at one point. That should give the average luminous flux produced by the light.
@awk@craigcush Holy Mother of Labrats!!! Who makes a sphere that big? I used to service Varian spectroscopy instruments but we had nothing that size. Ours were like 100-300mm iirc.
So the 90’s are coming back in full force. You will only be slightly ahead of your time (depending on how quickly this project moves) if you print up ten thousand “IT’S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!” mats. They will soon be retro chic.
I like the idea of wall to wall text: a poem, short story, or song lyrics. Harry Chapin’s 30,000 Pounds of Bananas, perhaps, or The Walrus and the Carpenter.
In the alternative, something that looks like newspaper with some offbeat story, accompanied by a weird picture captioned incoherently and small ads for meh or meh stuff.
Was gifted one of these lights. The suction cup was worthless. The magnet, on the other hand, works well. For three $ apeice I’d say it’s a fair deal, but I don’t have enough AAA rechargables, so…meh.
Shouldn’t the mat just have a giant “Meh.” printed right in the center? It would perfectly sum up how I feel when I’m doing dishes or being a short order cook for my children.
Kitchen Mat - A list of common kitchen measurements and conversions (which would actually be useful), and common ingredient substitutions. BUT THEN - have the list slowly segue into imaginary ingredient substitutions “Unicorn Blood, 1 Cup - Substituition: 1lb of sugar, 1 cup scotch whiskey, and two pinches of hate”
I’m assuming they’re not (because it doesn’t say so) but are these waterproof or water resistant? They’d make good cheap shower lights if so. (My bathroom shower never got a light installed for some weird reason)
Mat, you are a lax gel ere on I put my toe.
You do get my toe lax if I do wet my cup in sud.
Or if I do mix in my pot on the hob, you make my toe say ahh.
Mat, you are a gem for my lax toe.
@mcqmail4 the “where you order it” place is always the same. On the main Meh front page underneath the product photos.
If you’re on this deal/product comments page you can always scroll up to the top and click on the product photo to return to the front page where you can order.
But yah, there’s a shitload of “bs” on this site. That’s why so many of us fools/suckers are addicted to it.
All four of mine work great. Magnet sticks to anything reasonably suitable, such as the fridge, steel doors, etc. They all light up great, included batteries is a bonus. Suction cup works fine for short-term use. I tested one on a glass window and it fell off sometime overnight. But that’s good enough.
Product Name: 4-Pack: COB LED Magnetic Suction Puck Lights
Model: DLF4-1005, DLF4-1006, DLF4-1007, DLF4-1008
Condition: New
Mount using suction cup or magnetically (remove puck from cup to mount magnetically)
16 COB LEDs
230 Lumens
Requires 3x AAA Batteries (Included)
Easy On/Off Pushbutton
Wide-Angle 360-degree Beam
What’s in the Box?
1x Blue COB LED Magnetic Suction Puck Light
1x Black COB LED Magnetic Suction Puck Light
1x Pink COB LED Magnetic Suction Puck Light
1x Green COB LED Magnetic Suction Puck Light
12x AAA Batteries
The mat:
Stand still… await teleportation
Have them throw in mood lighting ha
Dinosaur tracks
Have them add sound so when stepped on: fart… moan… “have you lost weight?” etc. sounds out.
Mat Ideas:
“This is where adulting happens”
“Maximum adulting zone”
“Worst case, we order a pizza”
A Jump to Conclusions Mat (from Office Space)
“My Kitchen, My Rules”
I’m buying these to mount them on the roll bar of a Jeep Wrangler. Since the top comes off, the tiny dome light it has is insufficient. These should work very nicely.
@j0egarza I have a feeling you would be way better off wiring in something 12V powered. Maybe even just upgrading the bulb in your factory dome light to an LED bulb would give you greater light output.
Brightness fine, but I bought it for the ‘magnet works well’. Really, not so much. And, of the two I’ve unwrapped, one has a magnet flush with the bottom (good) but the backside of the magnet crushed the battery (not good). The other has a magnet that is above the bottom surface, so it is wobbly and prone to falling off (not good). But the battery is less crushed (good). This seems to be a case where ‘measure twice and cut once’ was not observed; the magnet is too long for the case. Meh.
Not unhappy(only opened one so far) but wish the light was less yellow. The magnet is useless,can’t hold it’s own weight. Suction cup only sticks to my forehead for a few seconds but that’s ok.
I could use a beaker logo kitchen mat.
Just sayin.
@RogerWilco ooh, then it also becomes a science mat!
Make it look like there is a gateway to hell in the floor of my kitchen.
Or maybe just a gateway to the Meh warehouse, overflowing with fidget spinners and Roombas?
@awk “Kitchen fatigue”? Is that when you go out to eat because you are tired of cooking and then having to wash up pots and plates afterwards?
@djslack something like this was my thought too
Mat should say
“I know what I’m doing” . . . Because people love to come stir a pot when you’re cooking like you don’t know what you’re doing. . . I know it’s simmering. I know! I don’t need you to stir.
Or. “Help wanted”. And put the mat in front of the sink so people can get the message to wash the dishes.
And it should be Georgia red.
Make it look like a mine shaft, so from the right angle (maybe a few feet back from the long side) it looks like there’s a hole in the floor.
I have no pucks to give.
@mike808 “Behold, the closet where I glow my pucks. And lo, see that it has grown dark.”
Dang, you’re on a roll tonight, @djslack! (Or would that be role?)
I have a front door mat (that I may have even purchased here about 3-4 years ago!) that says “NOT A TRAP DOOR.”
It still cracks me up when I come home.
/giphy not a trap door
@haydesigner
@haydesigner I like it
On the mat it should say 'if you can read this tell my wife to get back to work"
Just kidding, I’ll think of something actually funny later. Maybe. Or not.
@djslack MY WIFE!
Paw prints! Who doesn’t love paw prints, and I’ve never seen paw print mats in stores. You could do regular cuddly/domesticated-type animals, and then some crazy versions, too: flamingo prints, giraffe prints, part of a giant mammoth print? All good. Or go with cryptid prints: Sasquatch, chupacabra, you get the gist.
Yay kitchen mats!
I really like the theme going here with the rug looking like a hole or shaft, something below pictured. Just add a sheet of glass on top that appears to be cracking under weight.
That’s a winner.
“The Floor Underneath is Clean, I Promise”
Mat Idea: Tile with crime scene tape around the border and a chalk outline of a broken plate.
@billlbo I like it
put mat on the mat
@therealjrn or, for a classy and surrealist touch,
“Neci c’est pas un mat”
Maybe in a nice script.
@djslack @therealjrn OK, I’d actually buy that!
@djslack @mehcuda67 @therealjrn Likewise! But I suppose that having them do it is naught but a pipe dream.
@djslack @rpstrong @therealjrn I saw what you did there.
First thought: Meh is selling 4 roles of colored electrical tape. How practical.
Second thought (sanity returning): Wait, this is Meh.
Mat - slightly used litter box.
Broken glass.
I would buy neither of those!
How about a mat with a mirror finish. Asking for a friend.
An octopus
I would really like a plain one that’s a neutral color, not black.
If you must print something, how about a subtle leaf pattern or a tree?
@kdemo I think you are onto something. Like a bamboo stencil or a barebone tree.
@alose @kdemo Maybe on a slightly darker background so that it’s not stained immediately upon deployment.
If only these were rechargeable.
@yakkoTDI Wouldn’t you have to keep them in the fridge/freezer then?
Put a particularly horrifying Irk face on it.
If you can have the mats custom printed, you could probably also have them not put a damn thing on them. Just a basic, no clever saying, no pictures, no pattern, kitchen mat. That’s the most universally marketable idea, so you’ll probably order them with an anthropomorphic banana with a baby arm holding a knife with “Here’s Johnny!” written across the bottom.
https://www.menards.com/main/lighting-ceiling-fans/indoor-lighting/under-cabinet-lighting/black-battery-suction-cup-integrated-led-puck-light/dlf4-1005/p-1545118173347.htm
@jeffreywsnyder so I can pay more, have to deal with a mail-in rebate, and go to Menard’s?
@jeffreywsnyder @warpedrotors
Think it’s posted for a relevant price comparison. Opposed to the similar $60. This makes it similar $16.
Which is actually cheaper than buying a 4 pack here, which is $17 for those that don’t pay the monthly membership fee to shop here. Also you can buy the number you want at the store. Plus, some may like the idea of having all one color.
In summary, not a bad link to post. It’s relevant and helpful I feel.
@jeffreywsnyder @MrMark @warpedrotors ok, but I can’t go to Menard’s in my underwear. At least not again.
Ideas for the kitchen fatigue mat- “Stand here if you didn’t cook”, “Choreplay is the new foreplay”, " Real men do dishes", " No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes", “your turn”
@davidwr99 Does your wife ever get mad when she asks you for her purse, and you accidentally hand her yours?
@warpedrotors Nah. She left me for a guy that doesn’t do dishes.
@davidwr99 You said sometimes!
@warpedrotors I did. but then I thought of a funnier response.
@Bumplepimp This is the way.
Since mine will just end up looking like this anyway, how about this:
Or we could confuse Mom when she comes over with this:
Why oh why am I a sucker for these kinds of things…? Fuckin VMP…
/image chaste-costly-soda
/giphy chaste-costly-soda
@shahnm cuz you gotta use up your batteries somehow otherwise that population explosion in your fridge might lead to overcrowding and your batteries may start an uprising.
Kitchen Fatigue mat idea - Say " Wash" on one left side and “Rinse” on the right side.
@davidwr99 but wash is on the right and rinse on the left on mine!
@davidwr99 @djslack Rotate the mat 180°.
“But now the words are upside down.”
“But now I can’t see the printing at all.”
@davidwr99 @djslack They could have two variants
Kitchen Fatigue mat idea- two people with talk bubbles, firs tone says " Use the dishwasher" The other one responds " I AM the Dishwasher"
All you bloody purple people have me trained to think “no purple one, eh?”. Just call me Pavlovsknickers.
““So here’s what we want to do–we want you to help us figure out what to print on these kitchen fatigue masks.””
I’m genuinely intrigued by the concept of kitchen fatigue masks.
@alacrity @dseanadams’s book is coming today and I swear I’ll assplode if he has as many misspellings as he does on meh.
@alacrity They’re TACTICAL!
I’d love a kitchen mat with a world map on it. But if also buy a mat that says meh!
“This Space Intentionally Left Blank”
WASH,
RINSE,
REPEAT…
meh
I suggest a kitchen measurement conversion table. 1Cups = 8oz= 16tbs = 48 tsp type of scale thing. I realize something this useful cuts against the meh grain but what the hell, it’s a new decade.
My lights are defective. They’re not “puck lights” at all
@Trinityscrew HAH! I love it. XD
Regarding the kitchen mat, it should say…
Bon Appitit
@cengland0 (1) “Don’t just stand there, wash something”
@cengland0 “At least WASH YOUR HANDS”
@cengland0 “No shirt, no shoes – you’ll fit right in”
@cengland0 “No, I said: One Might Stand Here”
@cengland0 “Get your free foot massage here”
@cengland0
THIS KITCHEN
IS A meh ZING
Bone Apple Tea!
I see it, but what does COB stand for and is there a standard measurement of its luminosity?
@craigcush chip on board (as opposed to discrete or SMD LEDs) and probably not.
It has to do with how the LEDs are constructed. The entire yellow ring has LEDs embedded in it and they are directly on the circuit board (pretty much).
@djslack thanks, makes perfect sense after hearing it.
@craigcush There is an ANSI standard for measuring luminous output. The light source is placed inside or directed into a white sphere (a.k.a integrating sphere) and the light is measured at one point. That should give the average luminous flux produced by the light.
/image big integration sphere
@awk @craigcush Holy Mother of Labrats!!! Who makes a sphere that big? I used to service Varian spectroscopy instruments but we had nothing that size. Ours were like 100-300mm iirc.
@booogerbrain @craigcush They can get pretty big, imagine needing to test a large LED panel or something like that.
So the 90’s are coming back in full force. You will only be slightly ahead of your time (depending on how quickly this project moves) if you print up ten thousand “IT’S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!” mats. They will soon be retro chic.
/giphy peanut butter jelly time
As to the mats- a print of a hole in the floor would be about right, or a face looking back up through said hole…
@alacrity or a nice iron grate with rusty padlock and hasp and a child’s (or Jesse Pinkman’s) pleading hand reaching up? Or is that taking it too far?
@djslack that’ll work- hell, a pissed off downstairs neighbor through the hole would do it too.
@djslack better yet, a rope attached to a basket with skin moisturizer in it halfway down the hole…
I like the idea of wall to wall text: a poem, short story, or song lyrics. Harry Chapin’s 30,000 Pounds of Bananas, perhaps, or The Walrus and the Carpenter.
In the alternative, something that looks like newspaper with some offbeat story, accompanied by a weird picture captioned incoherently and small ads for meh or meh stuff.
A square code that if you focused on it with your cell phone would take you to meh.com.
A bar code that if you focused on it with your cell phone would take you to meh.com.
Outline of two feet, one with the letter L in it and the other with R. Optionally, you could put the R on the left and the L on the right.
Cha cha cha
“Not meant for human consumption”
@jewelshound
“External Use Only”
Realistic image of a broken plate.
Was gifted one of these lights. The suction cup was worthless. The magnet, on the other hand, works well. For three $ apeice I’d say it’s a fair deal, but I don’t have enough AAA rechargables, so…meh.
@thebigtverberg AAA? Nope. That’s the mark of a garbage light with no battery life.
@thebigtverberg I agree…suction cup does not work AT ALL. But the magnet is great and the light is bright. Great for my pantry closet.
Yes, a hole. But this one. And it must be animated!
@blaineg Homework assignment: calculate the depth of the hole from the time to the splash.
@blaineg Looks like he fell all the way to China.
Shouldn’t the mat just have a giant “Meh.” printed right in the center? It would perfectly sum up how I feel when I’m doing dishes or being a short order cook for my children.
“Do me!”
Kitchen Mat - A list of common kitchen measurements and conversions (which would actually be useful), and common ingredient substitutions. BUT THEN - have the list slowly segue into imaginary ingredient substitutions “Unicorn Blood, 1 Cup - Substituition: 1lb of sugar, 1 cup scotch whiskey, and two pinches of hate”
Epstein didn’t commit suicide here.
On them mats, My go to is always “dinosaurs” or “dinosaur eggs”.
I’m assuming they’re not (because it doesn’t say so) but are these waterproof or water resistant? They’d make good cheap shower lights if so. (My bathroom shower never got a light installed for some weird reason)
Dimensions?
@purwin most likely 3.
@warpedrotors accurate.
Kitchen fatigue mat ideas:
Hi! I’m Matt!
The dishwasher is broke. But he gets his check Thursday.
Stand here for some dirty fun.
A Mad Ape Den Ode to Mat:
Mat, you are a lax gel ere on I put my toe.
You do get my toe lax if I do wet my cup in sud.
Or if I do mix in my pot on the hob, you make my toe say ahh.
Mat, you are a gem for my lax toe.
To mat!
“Stand Here”
The spiral optical illusion
@jewelshound A selection of them. Mats to make you fall over!
“Kitchen Matt” with a grinning @snapster on it, wearing a “meh” apron.
“Tomorrow, we get fast food”
“Dirty Dishes Move Me. To A Different Room.”
@jewelshound my kid started hiding dirty pots and pans in the oven rather than washing them after I caught her putting them away dirty.
The mat should look like a curb drain with a clown looking out and saying “We all float down here.”
SEASONAL OPTIONS.
I’d buy at least two.
@Bevvie
Found ‘em.
T
This is a pretty fun site, however, sometimes there is so much ‘bs’, it is hard to figure out where to go to order this stuff!
@mcqmail4 the “where you order it” place is always the same. On the main Meh front page underneath the product photos.
If you’re on this deal/product comments page you can always scroll up to the top and click on the product photo to return to the front page where you can order.
But yah, there’s a shitload of “bs” on this site. That’s why so many of us fools/suckers are addicted to it.
All four of mine work great. Magnet sticks to anything reasonably suitable, such as the fridge, steel doors, etc. They all light up great, included batteries is a bonus. Suction cup works fine for short-term use. I tested one on a glass window and it fell off sometime overnight. But that’s good enough.
Specs
What’s in the Box?
1x Blue COB LED Magnetic Suction Puck Light
1x Black COB LED Magnetic Suction Puck Light
1x Pink COB LED Magnetic Suction Puck Light
1x Green COB LED Magnetic Suction Puck Light
12x AAA Batteries
Price Comparison
$59.96 (for similar) at Amazon
Warranty
90 days
Estimated Delivery
Monday, July 13th - Thursday, July 16th
/buy
@Oneroundrobb It worked! Your order number is: bipedal-gorgeous-mind
/image bipedal gorgeous mind
Did Mr. Miyagi do something like “wax on, wax off” but related to doing the dishes?
@djslack He died. Is that what you were thinking of?
It’s late; time to get the puck out of here.
Picture of an an atom with a few electrons in orbit.
“Wrong Side Down”
“Kitchen Mat”
“1. Cook 2. Do Dishes 3. Whine”
@jewelshound or 3. Wine
The mat:
Stand still… await teleportation
Have them throw in mood lighting ha
Dinosaur tracks
Have them add sound so when stepped on: fart… moan… “have you lost weight?” etc. sounds out.
@schthouse How about the original Star Trek transporter pads? 2-3 of them, however many fit.
specs L2.5"…W2,5"…D 1.5"…weight .1875 lb.
@mellowirishgent
@mellowirishgent Needs more significant digits.
/buy
@sheaman123 It worked! Your order number is: withered-goofy-sleet
/image withered goofy sleet
Kitchen mats:
“Spilled food goes here”
Or
“Spill food on me”
@KMakato The largest, bestest, gooiest burrito you’ve ever seen. Dropped on the floor.
@KMakato Or a huge, shattered plate of spaghetti.
Etc. etc…
Kitchen mat “Looking UP” with some googly eyes.
/buy
@SnDMommy It worked! Your order number is: keen-detailed-interest
/image keen detailed interest
@mediocrebot @SnDMommy That would be a hell of a mat.
Mat Ideas:
“This is where adulting happens”
“Maximum adulting zone”
“Worst case, we order a pizza”
A Jump to Conclusions Mat (from Office Space)
“My Kitchen, My Rules”
Kitchen mat image - two muddy boot prints.
How about just images of spilled food, grease splatter and a touch of dog hair? Would camouflage it to be invisible but cushy
Pretty sure my marriage would not survive my inevitable insistence on calling this a “suck n puck”.
/buy
@dupart3 It worked! Your order number is: acid-different-dust
/image acid different dust
I’m buying these to mount them on the roll bar of a Jeep Wrangler. Since the top comes off, the tiny dome light it has is insufficient. These should work very nicely.
@j0egarza I have a feeling you would be way better off wiring in something 12V powered. Maybe even just upgrading the bulb in your factory dome light to an LED bulb would give you greater light output.
/giphy eloquent-stormy-shrew
Oh cool, I’m in Africa… DRC…
https://what3words.com/permissive.gain.pistachio
Did anybody bring an umbrella?
Puck it. I wish there were brighter.
Great light but they dont stick to anything. Ive tried everywhere.
Brightness fine, but I bought it for the ‘magnet works well’. Really, not so much. And, of the two I’ve unwrapped, one has a magnet flush with the bottom (good) but the backside of the magnet crushed the battery (not good). The other has a magnet that is above the bottom surface, so it is wobbly and prone to falling off (not good). But the battery is less crushed (good). This seems to be a case where ‘measure twice and cut once’ was not observed; the magnet is too long for the case. Meh.
Not unhappy(only opened one so far) but wish the light was less yellow. The magnet is useless,can’t hold it’s own weight. Suction cup only sticks to my forehead for a few seconds but that’s ok.
Shit only 2 work out of 4 what a peices of cheap shit. Doesn’t even stick.