19 Bucks Or Less: A Meh-rathon compilation (with all 150 Meh Button faces in a GIF)
9Would you believe I missed this Meh-rathon almost in its entirety? I didn’t log on until like 8:30pm!
All around me are familiar faces.gif
19 Bucks Or Less: A Meh-rathon
Part 1
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a shirt from some other friggin’ deal site! See if we care! No, we’re NOT crying!
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy some discount roller blades, only to find out they’re not roller blades, but rather a bundle including one hair roller and two blades for box cutters.
Is this under $19?
Yes.
Will its contents be worth $19 or more?
Can’t say.
Will you be happy with your purchase?
Absolutely not.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a doghouse from your neighbor that’s definitely not haunted, no sir, that ghostly howling you hear coming from it, that’s just the, uh, white noise machine installed inside.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“I remember 19 well. It was the summer of the steam shortage, and so the lights were constantly flickering.”
- Doug Halderston, Senior Logistics Understander
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy 19 copies of The Bridges of Madison County at your local Friends of the Library Book Sale. Trust us, they’ll have them!
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Pay a magician $5 to make $14 disappear. Or $15 to make $4 disappear in a really exciting way.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“I have no memory of being 19. Because I never was. They hadn’t invented ages past 15 when I was young, so I was 15 for many years. By the time Doctor Tester presented his research, and we came to understand ages 16 through 110, I was 27.”
- Mel Crimson, Parking Lot Polisher
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a gallon of paint from Brad’s Watered-Down Paint Emporium.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a worm with a champion bloodline with which to start your high-end bait shop.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy 19 extremely fancy grains of rice.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a Nintendo Switch! By which we mean, a light switch panel branded by Nintendo.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Put a downpayment on a used left-foot ski.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Call someone across the world and just chat for a few minutes.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy an Australian knock-off comic like Thee Uhmayzang Spoidamin.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy tickets to a Toronto Raptors playoff game. Oh, wait…
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“It was the year after my eighteenth, but before I was officially twenty.”
- Carl Dennison, Marketing Communications Decoder
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy some artisanal gruel. They can make that stuff taste pretty good now.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a single friendship bracelet. Not to celebrate a friendship, but to celebrate the concept of friendship.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Play nineteen dollar slot machines at once.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Invest in a lightly used right Birkenstock.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy tickets to Jeth-row Tull, the only Jethro Tull cover band that’s also a crew team.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy those shoes that have the individual toes. Those have to be pretty cheap now, right?
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy one of those sidewinder skateboards the kids are always riding. Except, at this price, you probably wouldn’t find one that’ll actually turn in the middle. So it’d just be a 2-wheeled skateboard.
Is this under $19?
Yes.
Will its contents be worth $19 or more?
Can’t say.
Will you be happy with your purchase?
Absolutely not.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Get your fortune read by a fortune-teller who will tell you that you have a bright future. To which you’ll respond, “Is it so bright I’ll have to wear shades?” And they’ll say, “What?” And you’ll say, “Like the song.” And they’ll say, “I haven’t heard that one.” And you’ll say, “It’s actually about nuclear war.” And then there’ll be an awkward silence.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy up to twelve pine nuts.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Put a downpayment on a replacement fin for your surfboard.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy all the ingredients you need to recreate your favorite baked good from The Great British Bake-Off, only to realize there’s one thing you can’t find in the store: baking skills.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a free-range ant farm.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“On my 19th birthday, Papa presented me with a statue built in my image. It showed all of my best features beautifully. But sadly, I had signed away the rights to my appearance to buy him a gift for his birthday, which was on the same day as mine: a new banjo. ‘But son,’ he said, holding up two fingerless hands, ‘I have sold my fingers to buy you this statue.’”
- Henry Tomlinson, Vice President of Regional Matriculation
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Make your first payment on a new non-smart fitness mirror.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“It was the best of times, it was the Durst of times.”
- Clay Mathington, Director of Faucet Testing
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a case of pretty nice rollerball pens so you don’t have to use the cheapies anymore. This one’s not really a joke. It’s actually a good investment.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“When I was 19 the swing revival was in full… swing!”
- Helen Fay, no longer a Meh employee after being fired for making this terrible joke
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Place a bet on the Sacramento Kings winning the 2022 NBA championship. It’s not likely, but it would probably pay out pretty nicely!
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a mysterious comb carved from the bones of a famous comb maker. (And if you’re like, ‘How would that only $19 or less?’ just remember: famous in the world of comb making is not that famous.)
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy tickets to see Careless Sun-tan-a, the only Santana cover band that is on record as being against the wearing of sunscreen.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy 19 (or fewer) crisp new dollar bills!
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a “lightly recalled” energy supplement.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a nice cast iron pan. And in this case, “cast” is being used in the theatrical sense. In that, it’s aluminum cast as iron.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a charging cable for your iPhone. Just, not one made by Apple.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a frozen banana. You’ll have what? Nine dollars left over?
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a stock (image of a) pot.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy tickets to see John Banh Jov-Mi, a John Bon Jovi cover band/Vietnamese sandwich food truck.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“I had to walk to high school uphill both ways when I was 19. That’s why I was still in high school despite being nearly 20. I didn’t know what the word ‘Uphill’ meant.”
- Richie Valens (but not that Richie Valens), Official Car Toucher
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Invest in Litcoin, the most literary of the cryptocurrencies.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Get a room at Motel 5, the only motel chain with lower standards than the Motel 6.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a para-shoes, which are shoes that are big and billowy like parachute pants.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“Life was a roller coaster back then. And actually, it still is now.”
- Lisa Tampz, Head-Rider of On-Site Roller Coaster
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy 190 shiny pennies! What do you mean ‘check the math’? Are you telling us that asshole Bill screwed us over?! Again?!
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy tickets to see Dryer Straits, a Dire Straits cover band that performs in rain slickers regardless of the forecast because, hey, you just never know!
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy vittles for the whole family. What kind of vittles, you ask? That’s the thing: knowing the vittles costs extra.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy some replacement nerf darts.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a brand new Stratacaster! Oh, that’s not a typo. We’re not talking about the guitar. The plastic fishing-like apparatus for casting strata hops into a crowd of beer bros.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Put down a downpayment on a boat! Only problem is, it’s at the bottom of Lake Michigan.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Make a charitable donation to your favorite deal site. Like us, for example. In exchange, we’ll send you some stuff. Like, this stuff, for example.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Or buy the Rubik’s Square, a 2-dimensional Rubik’s cube.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“It was the year of my discontent. Sorry. Let me enunciate. It was the year of my disk content. Couldn’t put enough stuff on disks when I was 19!”
- Tabitha Marlene, Director of the HR Department Specifically For People with Two Names
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
See a movie. Like City Zen Cane, about an urban walking stick that’s pretty chill.
Is this under $19?
Yes.
Will its contents be worth $19 or more?
Can’t say.
Will you be happy with your purchase?
Absolutely not.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a used microwave that can only ever cook things for 6 minutes and 66 seconds. We’re sure there’s nothing weird going on there!
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Get yourself a steakhouse dinner! And then get yourself a steakhouse bathroom, because if you got a whole steakhouse dinner for less than 20 bucks, you might be in rough shape after.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a DifficultBake Oven. It’s like an EZBake Oven, but everything goes wrong, teaching your kids that cooking is a nightmarish undertaking.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy some Google Glasses, just without the smart functionality. (LOL, that would still be more than $19.)
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy some Brooklyn Nets Conference Finals tickets! Wow, so cheap! Wonder why Bill was so eager to get rid of these?
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“19?! How can I remember 19 if I’m not 19 yet? What the heck do you think I am? Geriatric?”
- Tubbins, the Dachshund that’s just kind of around all the time
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a mesh scarf.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy enough holiday wrapping paper to last a lifetime (as long as you shop out of season).
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a Porsche… razor… blade replacement.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Invest in beets. And we don’t mean buy some beets. We mean ‘invest’ in the stock market sense. Beets are gonna be huge. Trust us.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a pair of snowshoes. But remember, keep them in the freezer or else they might melt.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
See a movie. Like John Whisk, about a sous chef who’s out for revenge.
Is this under $19?
Yes.
Will its contents be worth $19 or more?
Can’t say.
Will you be happy with your purchase?
Absolutely not.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a seatless, pedal-less unicycle. What do you mean that’s just a tire? Are you saying Bill sold us another lemon?!
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“I was working at the sandpaper factory back then, trying to save up some money to go to school. The year started rough, but ended up pretty smooth.”
- Glenda Ketzsimmons, Door Knob Technician
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Subscribe to one month of HBO Max. Then watch nothing but Forensic Files on Netflix until the last day of the month, at which point you try and binge all of the prestige shows in 24 hours.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy tickets to see Big Little Lies That Might Be Giants, the only band that does episode recaps of Big Little Lies in the style of They Might Be Giants songs.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“When I was 19, you could get a Cornish Game Hen cooked by a renowned chef for a dime. These days, it’s all just Cornish hens. Nobody plays the game anymore.”
- We honestly don’t even know who this guy is or if he even works here
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a used coffee maker. Don’t worry about the fact that the water comes out brown even if you don’t put any grounds in. Coffee machines are like cast iron pans. That’s just ‘seasoning.’ It adds flavor.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Sponsor a torpedo that’s lost at sea.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy tickets to see Rushed Rush, the only Rush cover band that can play the entirety of the Rush catalog in less than twenty-five minutes.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“It was that year that I walked those many steps up to the clocktower and met the strange decrepit man that granted my one wish: beauty. I’ll never forget that day.”
- Todd Brattly, Senior Sexyman
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a firm cover book: one that’s not hardcover and not softcover, but somewhere right in the middle, with a price to match.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
See a movie. Like Tar Wars, about the cutthroat vicious substances industry.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“Twas a beautiful year. Father pointed to a map and he said, ‘Ye shall be going there! The New World!’ And just ten months later, our boat landed on these bright shores!”
- Lark Helleron, Ghost That Haunts The Second Floor Men’s Room
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
See a movie. Like Lethal Weepin’, the buddy cop film about one by-the-books officer, and another who’s Southern and always crying.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy replacement tappers for your tap-dancing shoes.
Is this under $19?
Yes.
Will its contents be worth $19 or more?
Can’t say.
Will you be happy with your purchase?
Absolutely not.
To be continued
- 5 comments, 6 replies
- Comment
Well, you put this up impressively fast!
I got all the faces but one of them was different from the rest. It was just a blue square after I clicked the button. Is that the one you deleted?
I was in the middle of the mall with a crappy internet connection so it’s possible that was a problem on my end. But once I got connected back to the internet, I refreshed the page and it still looked like this so I took a screen shot to see if anyone else saw that same blue square where the face should be.
Oh, and you don’t need to count them out because it shows the 150 right on the face in the calendar.
@cengland0 No, I didn’t actually delete one. I like keeping the glitch faces in there because it’s something to watch for if you are going through all of them. To better emulate the way it’s timed on the website the GIF is over a minute long, so sitting there and counting it out to see if it’s actually 150 faces to call me out would be quite the inconvenience.
@DoctorOW Just as an FYI, that 3 pack of socks still shows a weird face like I posted earlier so I know it wasn’t my internet connection. Click on this link and tell me what face you see.
Here is the URL to the image from cloudfront.
d2b8wt72ktn9a2.cloudfront.net/mediocre/image/upload/c_pad,e_negate,f_auto,h_128,q_auto,w_128/lmvs0qd1ykcqv3f5hrzw.jpg
@cengland0 Given that it’s themed to the Meh-rathon I think it’s an easter egg, not a mistake. It’s their own take on my “Who would notice one out of 150” thing.
Part 2
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Get yourself a new car(tridge of only bright yellow printer ink).
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy yourself a Moleskin notebook (made from imitation mole).
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“Those were the days, doing the Cross Key Slide at the malt shop with Barb and the gang!”
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy yourself a one-day subway pass. Then, spend the entire day going in and out of the turnstiles to get the best bang for your buck.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
See a movie. Like The Indiana Joneses, about an upstanding family living in Fort Wayne.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“19 was the year I moved to the old folks home, as I recall. I was born on Leap Day, by the way.”
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy an ice cream machine that definitely works (as long as your not a stickler for your ice cream coming out, you know, frozen).
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“You see, I can remember no great monumental happening from that year, but rather… all the small things.”
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
See a movie. Like No Body. Not to be confused with the Bob Odenkirk action film, No Body is a film made without any bodies appearing on camera. In other words, it’s just a blank screen.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a disco ball with matte sides.
Is this under $19?
Yes.
Will its contents be worth $19 or more?
Can’t say.
Will you be happy with your purchase?
Absolutely not.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a drum set. As in a set of six uncooked chicken drum sticks.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“I prefer not to live in the past, so I will not answer the question.”
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a lemonade at the county fair.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy some candies at the movie theater that are literally chocolate chips with some white stuff on them.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a single Bud Light at Yankee Stadium.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
See a movie. Like Rambeaux, the tasteful and oddly sexual French remake of Rambo.
Is this under $19?
Yes.
Will its contents be worth $19 or more?
Can’t say.
Will you be happy with your purchase?
Absolutely not.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“We ran out of wood in the winter of that year, so we began burning our stash of black truffles just to stay alive. Can you imagine such hardship?”
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy several sticks of dynamite. Dynamite is the one you spread on bread and use in baking, right? Oh, wait. Butter. Not dynamite. Sorry, we always get those two mixed up.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy tickets to see The Stroges, a cover band paying tribute to both New York rockers The Strokes and the Russian beef dish Stroganoff.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a set of Devil Sticks! (Not included: a ticket back to the 1990s.)
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“I was the captain of the Football Team back then! That’s what I called my boat: the Football Team. It was a canoe. And it sank. RIP, Football Team. RIP.”
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
See a movie. Like, Lethal Wee Pen, a buddy cop film where one officer plays it by the book, and another who’s a small writing instrument.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“It was the year the wall came down! Between the kitchen and the dining room. My folks were doing some renovation.”
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a sourdough starter-finisher: the only humane way to put down a sourdough starter.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a used bed. What could go wrong with a used bed for under twenty bucks?!
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“It began like no other year before it and no other year after it: with my nineteenth birthday.”
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a baby bassinet. Sorry, correction: a set of baby castanets.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Subscribe to a Substack by someone who tells their millions of subscribers that their voice isn’t being heard.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
See a movie. Like the Indebtable Hulk, about a man who gets very strong when he’s angry, but also maybe a little casual when it comes to spending.
Is this under $19?
Yes.
Will its contents be worth $19 or more?
Can’t say.
Will you be happy with your purchase?
Absolutely not.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“Pancake apparel was the big thing back then. We all wore shirts and pants made from flapjacks and the sidewalks were forever speckled with batter from those who took their clothes off the pan too early.”
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a bunch of seashells. OR! Buy one seashell with a certificate of authenticity.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Get a CDL license. (The CDL in this case stands for Casual Dining in Loungewear. It allows you to wear pajamas to fancy restaurants.)
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
See a movie. Like Gone With The Wind but where ‘wind’ isn’t like a breeze, but the verb, as in to wind something up. It’s about a music box.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Register to take the SATs. (The SATs here stands for Simulated Actual Tests. So what is it? Simulated tests?! Or actual tests?! You’ll have to take them to find out!)
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“That was the year the real birds left us. Birds these days? Nothing more than robots and holograms. Every single one of them.”
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“That was the year I met the genie who granted me a wish. I told him I wanted to be forever stoned. And so he turned me into who I am today.”
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy the official NFT of you contemplating buying this thing.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Get a thumb massage. It’ll feel like a whole different finger when they’re done!
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“My 19th year pre-dated water pressure. Everyone’s hair was terrible.”
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy several Coke Zeros. Although, if you multiply anything by zero… isn’t it also zero? What is Coke Zero? Does it exist?
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy the materials you need to finish your raft to get off that deserted island.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a rare rare painting. As in: a rare painting that’s cooked on the outside but not all the way through.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“Me and the boys in the dorm were doing kickflips that whole year. The only problem was we didn’t have skateboards.”
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy several silver two-tined forks. They look weird, but they work!
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Get a pair of prescription glasses. And have some money left over maybe. Remember when that wasn’t a thing? And glasses cost hundreds of dollars for each pair? That was lame.
Is this under $19?
Yes.
Will its contents be worth $19 or more?
Can’t say.
Will you be happy with your purchase?
Absolutely not.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“Clams were big at that time. These days, no appreciates clams.”
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a grill. Just the grill part, though. Like, the grating. Nothing else.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy an airport margarita.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a bootleg Kemba Walker Thunder Jersey. It’s money well spent! He’s definitely going to be there for a while!
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a bread tanner! They’re the newest thing! What do you mean that’s just a toaster? Dammit! Bill got one over on us again!
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“My 19th year went by in a blur. Then I turned 20, and got some glasses.”
Is this under $19?
Yes.
Will its contents be worth $19 or more?
Can’t say.
Will you be happy with your purchase?
Absolutely not.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Take a glass-blowing class. (The one where they teach you how to blow on glass windows and draw smiley faces.)
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Pay to have that spider you killed taxidermied.
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a single-color kaleidoscope.
Meh Employees Remember Being 19
“Boy howdy, that’s when me John-Bo used to spend all afternoon at the gulch, taming wild horses and sipping shine.”
Buy this for $19 or less…
OR!
Buy a camelfauge shirt, so you can blend in with the camels.
Compiler’s note
Why do I brag about “All 150 Meh Button faces” when it’s not like anyone is counting them out. Maybe I deliberately deleted one frame making it 149 faces. Who is going to call me on it?
TL;DR
@rtjhnstn Ok