Palliser Lagoon Pearl Necklace
- A pretty pearl necklace that tells mom, ‘Hey, I can read the calendar!’
- Tell her you bought it online, so she knows you planned ahead.
- Don’t tell her you bought on Meh. It’ll just be too confusing to explain.
- Tell her the manufacturer claims it should be $144. But then tell her you got a better deal than that. Moms love that shit!
- But maybe don’t mention that you paid less than $25. Moms want to feel special.
- If your mom loves cats, dogs, and/or puns, maybe you should be getting her a gift from Mediocritee.
- Model: PAL311, PAL253, PAL860, PAL927, because moms are the first pals we get in this world!
Give Back What She Gave You
We’re going to be up front here: we’re selling this because we want you to buy it for your mom for Mother’s Day. That’s why we’re putting it up today; there’s still just enough time for us to get it to you before May 12th rolls around.
Some of you might be close enough to your mom that you know exactly whether or not this necklace is in line with her style. Others, though, might have no idea. You can love your mom, and still be completely unable to interpret her nuanced taste in jewelry.
Well, for those of you in that second group, we have some good news: your mom is going to love this necklace. Because really you’re not giving her a necklace at all. You’re giving her proof that she instilled in you a number of useful qualities and skills, such as:
a basic understanding of calendars;
the knowledge that certain days possess significance over other days, and require the celebration of people other than oneself;
the ability to plan ahead;
an understanding that money can be exchanged for goods;
and a basic grasp of what constitutes, traditionally-speaking, something worthy of being given as a gift.
In other words: the absolute bare minimum in terms of being an person in society. But trust us, that’s the one thing* that every mom wants most in life!
Okay, fine. Maybe your mom doesn’t want ‘the bare minimum,’ but she would love some evidence that, while you might have your various quirks or ridiculous pet peeves or wildly misguided hang-ups, you’re at least a functional human being, in large part thanks to her guidance. And that’s exactly what this necklace shows!
*Other than grandkids, which, to be fair, are way pricier than this necklace.