Ion Audio Vinyl Motion Portable Suitcase Turntable
- Suitcase turntable that plays real records all over the place
- Rechargeable battery lasts nine hours on a charge according to this Amazon reviewer
- Connect to bigger speakers (not included) via 3.5mm or RCA outputs, or rip records to MP3 via the USB output
- Just please don’t call them vinyls
- Model: iT45 (The lowercase i is a nice attempt to avoid lowercase-L confusion, but maybe another letter altogether would be even better. Is the 45 about RPMs? There’s no iT40 or iT44.)
Kickstart some other interesting deals.
If you bought one of these from us last time, you’ve already seen this email. But even if not, it’s a message we all need to hear. The future of non-boring Meh deals depends on it.
subj: ALERT about the Ion Audio portable turntable you bought
Dear (SUCKER NAME),
It’s cool, there’s nothing wrong with your turntable. We just wanted you to open this email. Hey, remember what a good time we had, that one time when you bought that Ion Audio Suitcase Turntable? It’s like a record player in a suitcase! Ha ha! What a blast! We’re friends now!
no no no wait don’t delete this email -
OK, if you’re still here, we need your help. Well, I need your help. I’m the guy who writes the little stories that go with each day’s product that you may have seen and/or ignored. I really like writing about products like the Ion Audio Suitcase Turntable - you know, cool fun stuff that’s more interesting than batteries or a pair of headphones. You ever tried writing jokes about freaking batteries?
The problem is, that boring stuff sells pretty steadily, while we’re never quite sure how the interesting stuff will do. What I need is to prove that there’s an audience for more exciting, offbeat deals.
That’s where you come in. We’re selling that suitcase turntable again today. (link deleted because you’re already at the page we would be linking to)
Would you mind hipping your hippest friends to this deal? Putting Meh in front of the swingin’est eyeballs in your social circle? The cooler our audience gets, the cooler our deals can get, and the less often I’ll have to make HDMI cables sound fascinating.
You’ll appreciate more fun deals. I’ll appreciate more fun work. And maybe I’ll be able to stop sending you emails with manipulative subject lines. No promises, of course. I’m desperate here.
Teetering on the precipice of boredom -
Meh
