We've Created A Monster
Anyone else getting tired of the same old monsters. Dracula? More like Drab-ula! Zombies? A bunch of real zom-bozos! Werewolves? Get-the-hell-outta-here, wolves! Enough with the masked killers using gardening implements, with the typical ghosts and ghouls, and enough with the clowns! No, it’s about time we forge a bold new direction in horror. I’ve even roped in our own resident monster-sculptor @KoolHandJoe for his expert opinions on the matter. Let’s see what we’ve got.
———
Spiders are a horror staple, but they’re super overdone at this point. It’s time we bring in the crabs. See, nature has been doing this funny thing where various species, independently, have evolved to be more crablike over time. It’s an interesting phenomenon. Is the crab the ideal form of life? Will the crab people rise to unseat humanity at the top of the current world order? Or will we become the crabs… Truly horrifying.