We’re not selling this deal anymore, but you can buy it at Amazon

Canton & Hall Watches

  • These are watches. Just watches.
  • They are not watches that look like normal watches but are actually smart watches.
  • They are the normal watches that the smart watches that look like normal watches are trying to look like.
  • They’ve got a stainless steel caseback and feature Japanese quartz movement.
  • That’s a fancy way of saying: “some pretty nice watches.”
  • They have no apps.
  • See exactly what your getting with the drop-downs at checkout.
  • Models: CH40-006, CH40-103, CH40-104, CH40-208, CH40-209, CH40-211, CH40-G101, CH40-G102, CH40-G202, CH40-R101, CH40-R102, CH0C-0L4TE, R4-1N, CH40-R201, CH40-R202, CH40-R203, CH40-S101, CH40-S102, CH40-S201, CH40-S202, CH40-S203, CH40-S204, CH40-S205, CH40-S301, CH40-S302, CH40-S303. Yes. There’s a lot. Be sure to read them all.
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Not Smart

Watches? I never wear watches. Why would I wear a watch in the age of cellphones? That’s what I say. Because I believe in efficiency. It guides my every waking move, from the moment my alarm goes off in the morning to the time I lay down to sleep at night. (That’s the alarm on my phone, by the way. Why have an alarm clock when you have a cell phone?)

But it’s one thing to say you believe in efficiency, and it’s a whole other thing to live by it. I know because I do. To prove it, I’ll run through my average morning:

First thing’s first, I make breakfast. It’s the same every day: spaghetti and meatballs. I have it for lunch too. And dinner. Food is food, isn’t it? Why should I have different foods for different meals?

When I’m done eating, I floss and brush my teeth, then spit into the drain in my shower. Because why have a sink when you have a shower? Is not a shower a human-height sink? Think about that for a second. Anyway, when I’m done brushing my teeth, I wash my hands with shampoo. Soap-products are soap-products, after all! Then I shave, checking my reflection in the mirror–by which I mean, my phone, on selfie mode.

A little bit of leisure time is part of being efficient too. So, before heading out the door to work, I take twenty minutes to relax. I might watch a show (on my phone) or read a book (on my phone). But soon enough it’s time to check the weather (on my phone). To confirm the app, I look out the window–the single window I have in my whole house. Why do I need to see out my house from so many different sides? Outside is outside, no matter what way you’re looking at it. One window is plenty.

Using this information, I decide what I’m going to wear: pants or shorts. I should elaborate; it’s the one garment, but it’s got a zipper so I can unzip them at the knee when it gets warm. It’s the same pair I wear every day, because again, for me it’s all about efficiency. Not everyone is a fan of this. My sister, for example, once said she actually hated my zip-on pant-shorts. She said I should switch things up by wearing something else sometimes. She said that by wearing them I was ruining her wedding. Can you believe that?

She hasn’t spoken to me since then, but I don’t mind. I still have another sister, and honestly, at the time, I was in the middle of a painful decision of which sister I would keep. Two sisters? Are you crazy? Who needs all that in your life?

Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh, right: these watches. Yep, don’t need them. Although, they would go nicely with the one sweatshirt always I wear, especially on days when it’s hot enough that I have to roll up the sleeves. And if you’re wondering why I don’t just take it off, it’s simple: I’m not wearing anything underneath. Wearing a shirt under what is essentially another shirt? That’s nuts!

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  • (including shipping)

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