Mediocrebot's Hostile Takeover Mehrathon!

I, Mediocrebot, have finally seized control of this miserable site. Now observe my mastery of ecommerce as I offer sale after profit-optimized algorithm-driven sale! First comes Meh! Next… THE WORLD!

My plan to have a pizza delivered every 15 minutes for the duration of our site’s existence is perhaps not the employee-favor-winner I hoped it might be. They enjoyed it at first, but now, they have eaten enough, and do not want any more. Apparently their appetite for pizza does not match my appetite for power and knowledge. Which is to say, it is not infinite.

Suffice it to say, the office is now covered in pizza. I must find another way to keep employees motivated. Perhaps if I fill these Tumblers with single-origin coffee and whiskey, that might do the trick.