2-Pack: Poo-Pourri Before-You-Go Toilet Sprays
- You spray it before you drop a big one and it smells as if nothing happened at all.
- Each 2-pack includes 1 “Woo of Poo” and 1 other scent of your choice.
- Unless you really like “Woo of Poo,” in which case you can get two.
- “Woo of Poo” is a scent comprised of Ginger, Neroli & Magic. We’re selling magic here, folks.
- One important note: while most of the options come in 2oz bottles (making them great for travel), the “Original Citrus” will only be 1.4oz. To make up for this discrepancy, we’re tossing in a canvas bag and some bamboo toilet paper (but only with that scent).
- If you wanna keep your wardrobe fresh, check out Mediocritee.
- Model: you know what, no. It’s called Poo-Pourri. The joke is already made. There’s nothing we have to add to this.
A Poo(r) Metaphor
You know what we love? Vintage video games. In fact, we love them so much we’re selling two t-shirts about them. You can check those out over on Mediocritee. But we didn’t just bring up… uhh…
Sorry, got distracted for a minute there plugging Mediocritee, which is our t-shirt site, which, as a quick reminder, is called Mediocritee.
Where were we? Oh, right:
But we didn’t just bring up vintage games to shill for Mediocritee, our t-shirt site. We brought them up because, well, what’s the hardest part of any classic game? The final boss!
Now, please stay with us here, because things are about to get weird and/or a little gross. Imagine there was an old-school 2D side-scroller called Digestion. In it you start out as a piece of a burrito that’s just been eaten. Throughout the many levels that follow, you fight through the various stages: down the throat, into the stomach, through the bowels, all the while changing form.
In such a game, what would the last level be? Your… uhh… escape into the toilet. And the final boss is then… maybe the muscles that…uhh…
You know, we’re getting a little stuck in the mud here. Let’s zoom out a bit. As we’ve established, taking a dump is essentially the final boss of the digestion process. And yet, we know it’s coming, because we play this game every day, once or twice or perhaps even more if we’ve set the difficulty level to high-fiber (none of this makes sense, but we can’t stop now).
So, what do you do when you’ve played a game over and over? You prepare!
You don’t just run blindly into battle. You collect the right items, memorize the timing to jump over the barrels, or, in the case of digestion, you spray Poo-Pourri BEFORE you sit down the ultimate gaming chair: your toilet.
And with these small travel-size bottles, you can be ready no matter where the game takes you!
And every 2-pack includes the Woo of Poo, a scent made of “Ginger, Neroli, and Magic,” which is maybe a power-up, if we’re sticking with this tortured metaphor that was really just an excuse to promote Mediocritee.
In conclusion, buy some poo spray. And also a shirt or two. From Mediocritee. Our t-shirt site.
