2-Pack: Discovery Flex Tech Cars
- You get 2 car models for your kids who are already sick of their Christmas presents, the brats
- Kids assemble the cars out of these flexible, foamy pieces, then either play with them or violently disassemble them (depending on personality)
- If you didn’t notice, they’re cheap AF (And Fun!)
- Appropriate for ages 5 and up unless your child happens to be extra smart and special
- Model: DK-FLEX-BUG, DK-FLEX-CAR (This toy is educational after all – it teaches kids the value of a concise, meaningful model number)
We Don't Need No Educational
Toymakers go to great lengths to make their toys seem educational. Toy catapults now “teach physics,” and board games “build problem solving skills.” We love that Discovery Kids makes the claim that these foam cars promote “concept building,” “critical thinking,” and “engineering” skills without providing any explanation for those claims whatsoever.
You can almost see the Discovery Kids people waving their hands at the question. “It, you know, challenges your child’s spatial awareness … or whatever,” they’d say, annoyed at having been asked.
“Who the hell cares?”
In fairness, constructing these wacky foam cars probably does develop some spatial problem solving skills. But so does everything else children do, from playing with blocks to picking their noses.
You should buy these cars because they’re fun, not because they’re educational. You know that. We know that. Discovery Kids knows that. Yet we’ll all rest easier tonight if we just accept them as educational and move on.
Buying these cars is like buying organic mac and cheese. You can tell yourself you’re making a “healthy” decisions by opting for organic over Kraft, but just because it’s GMO and pesticide free doesn’t stop it from being mac and cheese.
Maybe that’s not a fair comparison. It’s not like these foam cars will do positive harm to your children the way pasta and cheese will do positive harm to your body.
But your kid’s not getting into Stanford because you bought her a $5 foam car.
