2-for-Tuesday: Snap Activity Trackers

  • You get two of these fitness-tracking bracelets that are totally not Fitbit knockoffs
  • Keep track of steps taken, sleep, calories burned, and, in a larger sense, your worth as a human being
  • View the results through a mobile app because apparently nobody can do a goddamn thing anymore without using a stupid phone, in my day a phone was a thing that hung on the wall and if you were lucky that curly cord was long enough to reach into the next room for privacy and that was good enough for us
  • Model: 3PLUS-S01K (3PLUS is the company, S is probably snap, 01 is the first model, K is black - aside from the hyphen and the mild weirdness of putting the entire company name in the model number, not bad, not bad at all)
see more product specs

Rule out fitness trackers once and for all.

It’s easy to look back at your life and pinpoint mistakes you made. It’s much more difficult to recognize the non-mistakes you didn’t make. The chances never taken. The roads never followed. The diems never carpe’d.

If you don’t wear a fitness tracker by now, it’s because you’ve made up your mind that they’re just not for you. You’ve looked at the fit, taut, cardio-optimized types whizzing by with their little candy-colored bracelets on and concluded Not me. Never me.

You’re probably right. But let’s remove that “probably”.

Sometimes following life’s possibilities demands a big investment of time, money, and emotion. And sometimes, like today, they only demand a few bucks. Just a few bucks to finally confirm, once and for all, that tracking your steps, sleep, and calories burned will not change your life.

What have you got to lose? Unless your first, abortive morning jog takes you across the path of a runaway locomotive, or escaped cobra, or spontaneous eruption of volcanic lava, all you’ll be out is a little money. That way, when some friend is raving about his or her fancy Fitbit, you’ll know you’re better off keeping your money in your pocket and your hopes low.

You’ll never wonder what might have been if you’d just given those fitness wristbands a try. Guidance toward your true destiny doesn’t get much cheaper than this.

So far today...

  • 59643 of you visited.
  • 29% on a phone, 6% on a tablet.
  • 5394 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 480 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $7868 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

How many are you buying?