2-for-Tuesday: Adequate Gift
- They say “18 uses” but that leaves out functions like “terrible guitar pick” and “lousy fish scale remover”
- Kind of bulky in a wallet, but people aren’t allowed to complain if they get it as a gift, nyah-nyah
- A Leatherman could beat this Ninja up
- Seems to meet TSA guidelines for air travel, but do you want to risk it?
Running a minor online store doesn't leave you much time to buy gifts.
From: Snapster, CEO & the boss of you
To: Company
Date: 9/29/2014
Re: Wallet Ninja IMPORTANT!! PRIORITY RED!!
Effective immediately CANCEL fuku bag scheduled for Tue 9/30. Send back those 1,000 PS4 Destiny Editions. A more urgent need has come up: my gift stash is low. I need some Wallet Ninjas. Put them on the schedule for tomorrow so I can buy some.
Why is this a company priority? Because I AM this company. Don’t even ask why I don’t go out to the warehouse and get them myself. One rogue forklift and this company could be splattered all over the concrete. Besides, it’s hot out there. I didn’t start this business so I could break a sweat.
What you peons don’t understand is that a man in my position is expected to show his generosity by showering trinkets upon those of his social inferiors with the good fortune to cross his path. Noblesse oblige, motherscratchers. And frankly, I need some good publicity after the recent unflattering coverage of my management style. It’s not my problem that outsiders can’t tell the difference between good-humored joking around the office and “abusive language”.
So slurp that string of drool back in your mouths, flunkies. The suckers will wait for fuku bag #3 and they’ll like it. Your master commands you to put down your crayons and get your imbecilic asses in gear, if you can find them without a map.
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2-for-Tuesday: Adequate Gift 86
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Ask Irk: May I Borrow a Pen? 23
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Do you keep a stash of gifty items, in case you unexpectedly need to give one? 20
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OK, is there anyone around from Customer Service that can help?? 19 -
배송지변경 질문 9 -
My Order 2 -
Side Deal Ads/ Banners / whatever 5 -
Driving Game (Part 125) 3