Real True Facts

When you sell batteries as much as we do, you learn a lot about them, including some pretty wild stuff. For example:

• Batteries were initially developed to be cute little battering rams for mice to be used in a science experiment. What the experiment sought to prove, and why the researchers, in designing the batteries, filled them with the stuff required for the conduction of energy is one of science’s great mysteries.

• When Happy Days was at the height of its popularity, many battery companies fought to secure Henry Winkler as a spokesperson, so he could pronounce AA and AAA in his iconic Fonzie voice. Unfortunately, Winkler could not be wooed.

• To teach children about the positive and negative ends of batteries, it is common for schools to create names for them. Some we’ve come across include: Plussy and Flatty; Tiptoin’ X and the Straight Snake; Crossroads and Mr. Plain; and Addie and Linus.

• In each pack of batteries there is an alpha battery. This presents a conundrum for the battery owner, even if they’re lucky enough to discern which battery it is. Because, while the alpha will generate more consistent and longer-lasting power, it also can keep order among the batteries not yet used. It would then make sense to leave the alpha battery for last; this, however, is what the alpha battery wants, and so your adherence to its wishes means that the alpha battery has power not only over its fellow batteries, but also you. This can cause the alpha battery to act arrogantly. In short, selecting which battery out of a pack to use first is a terrifying decision to make.

Now it’s your turn to supply a battery fact of your own! Namely, whether or not you need batteries. Because if you do, we’ve got them!