10-Pack: Alcograd Single-Use Breathalyzers

  • Store these single-use breathalyzers anywhere that you (or a friend) might someday be drunk and stupid
  • Don’t hassle with calibrating them like regular breathalyzers – after all, you’re probably already drunk by the time you think to use them
  • End your dinner party with a rousing game of “Who Got The Drunkest To Compensate For Their Social Anxiety?”
  • Enjoy watching the color-changing crystals tell you exactly how drunk you are, chromatically
  • Model: None (Though feel free to make up your own while mumbling incoherently in the back of an Uber)
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A Buck, Would Have It

There’s something about $1.

When products cost $1 or less apiece (like these single-use breathalyzers), they magically transcend from “real purchase” to “frivolous purchase.” The usual cost/benefit considerations fall by the wayside as do concerns about whether you’ll use them or there’s a reason they’re only $1. Because who cares about a buck, right?

Meh writer @skemmehs coming to you from Osaka, Japan, where I noticed this vending machine that speaks to a universal human purchasing sentiment:

100 Yen is worth about $1 (and is denominated in a coin rather than a bill). These ubiquitous vending machines usually charge 125 or more per beverage, so, as you can tell from the cartoon dog’s ecstatic expression, finding one that spits out Pocari Sweats for a mere hundo is pretty exciting.

And consider the American "Dollar Store,” which banks on the same universal willingness to spend a buck on almost anything. Who cares whether the stuff is crap? It’s only a dollar! If you don’t believe the power of the dollar store value proposition, consider this, via Reuters:

Well-to-do millennials who faced the recession and have found prudence in curtailing family budgets, are also increasingly shopping from dollar stores, mostly for quick fill-in trips or store-branded toiletries and party supplies.

That’s right, in the swirling maelstrom of the “Retail Apocalpyse,” dollar stores are sitting comfortably in the calm, profitable eye. No matter what changes in the retail landscape, customers’ willingness to spend $1 on crap remains unchanged.

And to be fair, we don’t think these single-use breathalyzers are crap. They’re pretty nifty. Unlike regular breathalyzers they don’t require constant upkeep and adjustment, and they can be stored anywhere you think a stupid friend might someday try to drive drunk, like, say, with your tailgating equipment. Plus they use crystals.

But it doesn’t really matter what they are or who should buy them. We’re selling them for less than a buck apiece now, and that means people will buy them, whether they were single-use breathalyzers or bottles of Calpis.

Right? Maybe not. Who knows. I may have had a few too many 100-Yen jars of sake tonight.

So far today...

  • 71101 of you visited.
  • 35% on a phone, 5% on a tablet.
  • 5222 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 764 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $8447 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

How many are you buying?