PCHLife Premium TENS Pulse Massager with Sandals

  • It’s a dual channel “muscle stimulation system,” if you know what I mean.
  • (I mean it gives you a massage, if you know what I mean.)
  • [Okay, I really just mean it gives you a massage.]
  • It comes with massage sandals that relieve foot pain and are “universally sized.”
  • Model: 101337, if you know what I mean.
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Two Roads

There is no one way to fix a problem. This is true of all issues concerning personal wellness, but it especially applies to stress relief. Some methods are more strenuous and also more rewarding. Others are much easier but might not provide the same results. Today, we’ll look at one solution from each category.

Solution A - Removing Stressors From Your Life

Your best option, when it comes to stress relief, is to analyze your life, see what is really stressing you out, and seek to remove those things. This can be done in the following steps:

  1. Consider each relationship you are in, not just with your significant other, your friends, your family members, and your coworkers. Even seeing someone once every few months can have long-lasting effects on your psyche. So dive deep! For each person you interact with on a regular or semi-regular basis, make two columns: one in which to list things about them that make you happy; the other for the things that don’t. Scrutinize all of the lists together to find the one trait among all your acquaintances that makes you happiest, and the one trait that makes you least happy. Assign each of these a 10. Now, with your scale set, you can assign further number values to the other traits you’ve written down. For each person who has more negative “trait points” than positive, you must begin the systematic process of cutting that person out of your life. This may take years, and you might discover that your scoring system was off and that you’ve distanced yourself from people who made you happy, thus compounding the issue. Still, the benefits outweigh the risks (probably).

  2. Consider where you live. What is the climate? The density? The culture? Is there good transit? How about the roads: do they have potholes? Rank each category in order of importance. Then make a list of your ideal place to live. How does it compare to your current location, especially in the categories you’ve ranked most important? If it does not match up favorably, research areas that do have the climate, density, culture, and so forth that you want. Now, research jobs in your industry in that area, cost of living, and estimate how your lifestyle would change. Compare your current lifestyle to your potential future lifestyle. If the current lifestyle is more pleasing, begin this step again and reassess your innermost desires. If the latter is more pleasing, begin the process of researching relocation costs and applying for jobs. And remember: finding a new job, especially from afar, is itself a full time job, so if you’re doing it right, it should take up most of your free time.

  3. Consider your job. Do you enjoy it? Could you see yourself in this job for many years to come? Is it exactly what you want from life? If you answered no to any of these questions, then it’s time to find a new career field. Consider each aspect of your current job, separating them into three categories: aspects you enjoy; aspects you don’t mind; and aspects you hate. (Be very careful here; putting just one aspect in the wrong category could set you back many years and thousands of dollars). Now, do research and look for a field of employment that maximizes the aspects you most enjoy while minimizing the aspects that you despise. Once you find the perfect job (or what seems like the perfect job) begin the process of going back to school and training for this new position.

Solution #2 - Buy a Massager

This one is perhaps less effective than the first solution, but slightly easier. Proceed through the following steps:

  1. Go to Meh and buy the PCHLife Pulse Massager with Sandals that is for sale today.

  2. Wait for it to arrive.

  3. Remove it from its packaging, and enjoy a nice de-stressing massage.

So, which solution do you choose?

And you bought...

  • 834 of these.
  • There’s still some left.
  • That’s $18089 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

Which items are you buying?