Sharper Image by Vornado Rise 40 Oscillating Tower Fan with Remote

  • Tall and narrow
  • Four speeds, a timer, and a little remote
  • Very negative: only ever just stares at you or shakes its head no, never nods
  • Can it make a margarita: No, but it can soothe the tequila sweats the morning after a few too many margaritas
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Back & Forth

The Rise 40 is a great fan. Of that, we can be sure. But is it also a great tower? To answer this question, we’ve compared it to three of the most famous towers in the world.

Here goes:

Tower Of Pisa

In terms of moving air, the Rise 40 proves the superior tower here. It is capable of blowing air at 4 different speeds, which one can control via a compact remote. It also oscillates very nicely, whereas the Tower of Pisa doesn’t oscillate at all. In fact, local authorities highly discourage even trying to oscillate the Tower of Pisa on the grounds that doing so might cause it to collapse. In the category of novelty-photo-taking, however, the Rise 40 cannot match its competitor.

Burj Khalifa

In comparing the Burj Khalifa with the Rise 40, it really depends on what you’re looking for. The Burj Khalifa stands nearly a half-mile high, features an intricate fountain at its base, and is surrounded by 27 acres of parkland. While all of this is very appealing, most American homes are simply not large enough to accommodate it. The Rise 40, meanwhile, can fit easily in just about any dwelling, but the view from atop it is distinctly less impressive.

Rapunzel’s Tower

This one is pretty clear. The Rise 40 is the superior tower. Sure, on paper, you might prefer your towers to house beautiful long-haired women rather than blow air, but consider this: the lack of a beautiful long-haired woman also means the lack of an evil sorcerer. What’s more, the Rise 40, can provide soothing white noise all night long to help you sleep. It even features a timer if you don’t want it to run all night. Rapunzel’s Tower, meanwhile, is from a German fairy tale, the original version of which likely ends in some hideous way that will keep you awake.

There you have it: some very useful comparisons that will definitely help you make your purchasing decision.

So go ahead, buy a tower fan.

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